Personal Entitlement to Public People

Last weekend I saw Ben Folds in Pennsylvania, and it made me wonder about our expectations of the artists we love. Some chatty, kind of annoying high school kids behind me were waiting outside to see if Ben would pop out and do a meet & greet. When he didn't, they called him "a big meanie grouch" (no, seriously, direct quote) and left.

Now, I know they were just being goofy and flippant, but this rubbed me the wrong way. The man just played a 2+ hour concert for you until his fingers bled. Literally. During shows he has to tape up his fingers so his fingernails don't gush blood. So he doesn't owe you a damn thing beyond that. If he wants to say hi to his fans, all the better, but goodness know he's probably wore the fuck out.

But that got me to wonder, what is an artist's obligation to their fans? Is it enough to put art out into the world, or do you have to make an effort beyond that? And how much effort is too much?

I really dig an author named Francesca Lia Block. I don't so much dig an author named Chuck Palahniuk. But the both of them are well known for interacting with their fans. A lot of ladies in the late 90s had starry-eyed stories of getting positive, praise-filled letters when they sent her their personal zines. My friend Erin wrote Palahniuk a fan letter, and he sent her a pretty heavy box of trinkets.

I think that both of those are super cool, and I'm definitely a fan of artists giving their fans that little something extra. The problem comes when fans start expecting that shit and getting indignant when they don't receive that treatment. Or, worse, when they hold other artists up to those same expectations. Just because Artist A hung out with you before the show, that doesn't mean Artist B has to do the same, or that Artist C is a sellout for not doing that.

There's also the issue of fans having preconceived expectations of you based on a couple of interviews, or worse, a character you play. I got that in a tiny dose when I did Rocky Horror for a few years. Teen boys never knew my real name (which I guess was a bit of a relief) but would swarm me in public to hang out with Columbia. Sometimes it was cool, but sometimes I just wanted to get a mocha and not talk about Rocky Horror for ten minutes. Occasionally, I'd have to teach these guys terms like "personal boundaries" and "sexual harassment." Just because I can tell you crass jokes at a midnight show doesn't mean you should start the same jokes when I'm having dinner with my family. And just because the character I play is "the groupie" doesn't mean I appreciate groping in OR out of costume (no, not even if you're gay, because it most certainly does still count. Misogyny isn't just for straight guys.)

So how much interaction is enough? Too much and you have no personal life, too little and you're a "snob" or a "rockstar."