MTV Movie Awards

It's that time of year again for MTV to pretend it's awards mean something and honor the year's best movies.

Wait, best movies? That can't be right. Not when Twilight is in the running for a ton, and not in the fun, Razzie way.

Here's how things should be: Inception should win everything, with some exceptions for Kick Ass, because that was a seriously solid film. I can't speak for much else, since I didn't see much else, but I'm going to guess the few nominations for critically acclaimed movies like Blue Valentine deserve to win the most but most of MTV's audience won't have any clue about them because they'll have been too busy watching Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, and Skins. Note: I too watch Teen Mom and I watched the original British Skins, but couldn't take much of the poorly acted, dramatic, and stereotype-ridden American one.

But here's how things will be: Twilight will win everything, with a few exceptions for Harry Potter, and Harry Potter wins will probably be deserved, not to mention contribute to my new job as Harry Potter Examiner. In the rare case Twilight loses to something that's not Harry Potter, the fangirls will riot and talk about what a travesty it is, since Robert Pattinson is so totally hot and Twilight is the greatest book of all time (which it is, if you like bad writing, weak plot points that don't make sense, terrible characters, and dependent relationships).

So save America and vote for some worthwhile movies.

If You Like Harry Potter & Hate Twilight

The whole "Mark Reads..." series has got to be one of the funniest and sometimes, most touching things I've ever read on the internet.

The wonderful series started on on Buzznet long ago with Twilight and chapter-by-chapter reviews whose criticisms of the book's bad writing and treatment of certain subjects was just as eye-opening as it was hilarious. Does the Twilight fad annoy the shit out of you? Do you loathe Stephenie Meyer? Then MarkReads.net is for you. What makes it most worth looking at, aside from Mark's fury at the whole series, is a closer analysis of the Twilight series - it outlines issues of racism and misogyny, among other things, and basically advocates them. That's right, kids. Not only is Twilight badly written trash with unlikeable characters and major plot holes, but it supports all the things we're spent decades as a country trying to combat. Not that we've fully succeeded, but still. Stephenie Meyer could certainly set us back.

But then came Mark Reads Harry Potter, wonderful for a myriad of different reasons. The criticisms are minimal - the fun here lies in watching someone who knows very little about the series read the whole thing for the first time, occasionally throwing in personal anecdotes that range from funny to moving. J. K. Rowling (unfortunately) isn't a perfect writer and he acknowledges that, but she's leagues better than Stephenie Meyer and he acknowledges that, too.

Take some time every day and read an entry or two. You won't regret it. Both are wonderful, whether you love or hate either series. I'd even recommend it to the crazy Twi-hards, so they understand just what the complaints against the series are.