Books To Movies

It seems like a lot of the huge movies this season are based on novels, some huge sellers and others that aren't so well known.

So far this year we've seen several book to movie adaptations

Of course Breaking Dawn is coming over the holidays, but the one that I find the most intriguing is I Don't Know How She Does It by Allison Pearson

The film version stars Sarah Jessica Parker, who is not my favorite actress, but she seems totally suitable for the character she playing.

The author also penned, I Think I Love You, a book that's been on my wishlist since it was released.

So many interesting book to movie releases, and I'm not sure if I want to watch them on the big screen before I've read the books. The disappointment that usually results is something that usually keeps me from seeing the films, but this year, there are just so many, and the books have had such rave reviews that I really would like to see the movies.

So which ones have you read or seen?

When SNL Gets It Right

Okay, everyone has probably seen these. And Lonely Island, I'm sure, is for some walking a fine line between ridiculously hilarious and over-the-top and obnoxious. But frequently, they're spot on. Plus they guest stars they've gotten are insane.

Michael Bolton as Jack Sparrow?



Akon talking about the beauty of sex?



Insane, star-studded angst?



And perhaps best of all, the third installment of our favorite "Dick in a Box" bros.



I consider "Mother Lover" to be the sophomore slump.


Then there's the John Waters and Nikki Minaj cameos in "The Creep."

What fun will the new season bring?

Another Letter To Sarah Palin & The Teaparty

Dear Sarah Palin and  all the crazy Tea Party candidates,

A few things.

1. Wanting to have social programs in a country does not make you a socialist, it makes you responsible.

2. Poor does not = Lazy.

3. If you are going to speechify about what you would do if you were in office, this means you, Sarah, tell us what you'd do..not that you'd do it.

4. If you are going to through your hat in the ring, do it now, or get off my tv screen.

5. If you are running, please have the decency of possessing at least 4 functioning brain cells. Michelle Bachman, that means you need to back out.

6. Explain why cutting education is such a good thing when Americans are lagging behind in the world?

Sincerely,

A citizen that would like to see a good candidate running for office

This Country Is Full Of Too Much Hate

Let me get this straight...People won't be watching Dancing With The Stars because of Chaz Bono? Because Chastity is now a Chaz? Because they are afraid of a transgender person? Because that is somehow the work of Satan?

That is seriously fucked up.

I'm so sick of people using God as an excuse for their hatred. There is no where in the Bible that preaches hatred. I don't care what your pastor says. It is wrong.

And for those that are getting huffy about it..I suggest you open your Bibles to the Romans and read the passages that say:

" Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law."

"The commandments, "You shall not commit adultery; you shall not kill; you shall not steal; you shall not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this saying, (namely) "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

 

"Love does no evil to the neighbor; hence, love is the fulfillment of the law."

Now leave Chaz Bono alone, you idjits!

Looking For A Few New Wenches

Are you a woman who loves Pop Culture? Politics? Food? Blogging?

If you do, The Certifiable Wenches wants you!

I'm looking for a few new bloggers so that the site isn't so dreary. If you are interested in becoming a member of the blog, leave a comment here with an email where you can be reached and how much posting you can do for the blog. I'd like to be able to have one post a week.

Hollywood Skinny

What is is with Hollywood starlets and British Royalty? The obsession with skinny is getting to be a bit much.

Look at Angelina Jolie or The Duchess of Cambridge.

These are beautiful women, but yikes, a good strong wind could blow them away.

Being too skinny is just as bad as being fat, and is it really sexy?

Recent reports say Duchess Kate weighs 105 lbs! she's 5'10!

I think there are some runway models that would be jealous of that. Heck, I haven't seen 105 lbs since high school and I'm a mere 5'2 and a bit.

What's wrong with these women! And why do we all think we need to have similar bodies?

Dirty Dancing Remake?

I'm really getting sick of the laziness of Hollywood? Why do we have to remake films? Especially films that are almost classics. Or at least campy classics.

Footloose? and now Dirty Dancing?

Really?

What next? Casablanca? Gone With The Wind?

And there are going to be country artists recording the music.

NO!

Now I really enjoy country these days, but not for Dirty Dancing, m'kay?

Why can't we leave things well enough alone?

Political Rant Ahead

In the past two weeks I've determined that every member of the government needs to be fired, tea party and republicans first.

Why is it so hard to agree on tax revenues for the wealthy?

Really?

They make more, therefore they should pay more, and isn't some of these huge corporations that took bailouts and don't pay any taxes anyway?

For the love of all that is holy, what is wrong with people!!!!

We are living in a country that is losing its middle class.

The median income of the town I live in is less than $25,000, which is POVERTY LEVEL. A good deal of these are seniors, and we want to mess with Social Security...a program that hasn't given a cost of living adjustment in years!

Essentially our country says, Fuck You! if you are poor or old.

The more political stuff I see and read, the angrier I get. AT BOTH PARTIES. I want to like Obama, but he doesn't have enough spine. I can't like the Repugnant ones because they don't give a shit about anyone except the people lining their pockets.

What a sad sorry state we our in..and even when the debt ceiling is passed, and it better be or we are all fucked...it will just be another few months before this BS starts again!

Gadgets I Can't Live Without

There are so many things that keep us connected...to other people, to information to games. It is no wonder we have absolutely no social skills!

Here are my must have gadgets.

First up is an mp3 player. It doesn't have to be an iPod. I have two shuffles and I don't really like them. I do love my old Creative Zen Vision. It is a wonderful mp3 player and I've had it for several years now. I keep saying I'm going to get an iPod Classic or Touch, but I don't see a reason to with this little thing working so well

My next gadet that I can't live without is my nook. I have the original Wifi version and thanks to a very special person, I have a nook Color which is something similar to an iPad only with a smaller price tag.

Have I mentioned that everytime I see an iPad, I still think Maxi Pad? I know its childish, but the name lacks something!

But back to the nook...the Color is fab and has gorgeous visuals...It makes me want to buy all sorts of kids books just for my eReader.

Lastly, my little android phone makes the list. I don't make a lot of money, so I couldn't toss the cash on the HTC model I coveted or the LG model I wanted so badly.

So I went with Motorola's starter Droid and I have a love/hate relationship with it. I'm not sure the extra money I'm paying is worth the Angry Birds or Four Square Apps. I mean...when people know exactly where you are...couldn't bad things happen?

LOL!

But if you take any of these things away from me...I'm pretty sure I will perish.

Childhood Reading

Growing up, Little Golden Books were always found all over the floor in my house. I was cleaning today and I found Good Little, Bad Little Girl, one of my absolute favorites.

The illustrations in this one are absolutely beautiful, which is why I think I loved it so much. Written by Ester Wilkin and illustrated by Eloise Wilkin. The story is simple but the illustrations really carry the story.

I'm glad I found this book today. It reminded me of simpler times.

What books did you read when you were a kid?

Must-Have iPhone Apps

Yes, I've given in to smart phones. When my battery was dying ridiculously quickly and the back of the phone wouldn't stay on, I knew it was time for an upgrade and I went straight to the iPhone.

Sure, it's expensive, but it's fun as hell, not to mention convenient and helpful. To get the most out of your iPhone (and maybe even Droid, or whatever), here are the apps I've already got.

Angry Birds: Yeah, obvious, and just as addicting as they say. Be sure to check out Angry Birds Seasons, too.

Words with Friends: Basically, a Scrabble match with whatever friends of yours are also playing.

Hanging with Friends: The same concept except with Hangman.

Hisptamatic: Get beautiful pictures with different effects that basically make the pictures look like old Polaroids someone found in the attic. Like, "Remember way back in 2011 when iPhones were all the rage?"

Facebook: Yes, getting all your notifications and news on your phone is a very dangerous thing. But that's why it's so awesome.

Skype: If you want the thrill of a webcam but your computer is as terrible as mine, Skype on your phone is just as good. It'll be nice come fall to keep in touch with my long-distance man without using his minutes. The quality sometimes is sometimes mediocre, but it's better than nothing.

The Weather Channel: iPhone may come with a weather app already, but it blows. The Weather Channel is as good as you get, complete with maps, hourly predictions, and 36-hour coverage.

Flashlight: You know how you use your phone as a flashlight anyway? This makes it more legit.

Foursquare: Welcome stalkers and earn badges and points for every place you visit. Or prove that you really are a hermit.

PNC Virtual Wallet: My mom doesn't trust phone banking, but it rules. Transfer money, check balances, even deposit checks! No more trips to the bank. There goes my Foursquare points...

Pittsburgh Penguins: Up-to-date news and, come hockey season, live scoring and penalty updates.

Team Coco: All the ginger fun on your phone.

Fruit Ninja: Slice that fruit!

Alarm Clock: The chimes are so peaceful.

Twitter: Because you can never be too connected.

RedLaser: Okay, I haven't actually used this yet, but it scans barcodes and tells you if that item is available elsewhere cheaper.

Mancala: As addicting as any iPhone game hit.

Mahjong: Same deal.

ParkPGH: Need to know what garages in the Cultural District are open and what they cost? This will tell you!

Where Does It End

Have you heard about that idiot from Sister Wives? He's got a lawsuit against Utah because of their bigamy law. You can read more about it here

You know, right now we're trying to allow gays to be married. I have no problem with that. I think if you want to be married...that's just hunky dory! Get married, be happy...yada yada yada.

But when it comes to people like this, I start to wonder about the state of the world.

I'm sorry..polygamy is just plain greedy!

But now is the right time to bring this issue up. If gays can get married why shouldn't wackjobs be allowed to marry as many consenting women as the want.

This whole issue hurts my brain.

So what do you think...

Things I Don't Understand

1. Republicans: I don't think I have to explain this to you, right? I am a bleeding heart liberal!

2. The people leaving their porch lights on for Caylee Anthony! Uh...erm? Why? I understand the feeling of hopelessness that a murderer got to walk because of a lousy case, but the little girl is dead, leaving your porch light on isn't going to do anything to help her.

3. People that dislike Obama but can't come up with a viable reason why...Uh...my guess is the color of his skin. I'm also guessing if he were a white man, he wouldn't be getting half the shit he's getting in office right now.

4. What is the big fuss about Duchess Catherine wearing jeans 3 days in a row? GAH! Get a grip. The big fuss should be that she looks too freaking thin. Feed the duchess a CHEESEBURGER!

5. Ebook pricing! You only save when you purchase a brand new ebook or a classic. Anything else and you might as well buy the paperback.

Restaurant Review: The Panino Bistro

The people of Charleroi might say, "Do we really need another Italian restaurant in town?" Well as soon as they eat at The Panino Bistro, they'll take back those words.

The Panino Bistro is different from most of the other restaurants in the 'roi. It is a sandwich shop with a little taste of Italy to make you want more.

The Panini offered by Chef Scott C'one are nothing short of amazing.

The Panini that we brought home were wonderful. We chose the roast beef and the Cuban.  The roast beef had ample meat and the provolone cheese was thick and gooey and wonderful. This is the kind of cheese that makes you remember the old "Behold the power of cheese ads."

Then there was the Cuban. OMG! Shaved ham and pork...and when the menu says, sliced roasted pork, they aren't lying. The pork tasted like it came from one of my mother's slow cooked pork roasts.

If these two sandwiches are any indication of what the rest of the offerings are like, The Panino Bistro is a winner.

It is also in a better location than most of new restaurants in town. It has easy access to parking, which is really saying something.

So if you are in Charleroi and you have a craving for a great Panini, or maybe some pasta? You might want to give The Panini Bistro a try.

I Hate This Term

I want to know who coined the phrase baby bump?

There's just something about it that makes me want to gag.

The woman is simply pregnant. It is a baby, m'kay.

I don't know why we must sugar coat things.

And while I'm on the pregnancy subject, why do women feel the need to pose nude when they are pregnant? Personally I don't understand the desire to get naked for any camera, but naked and pregnant? No thank you.

I'm not a huge fan of nudity period...so I'm not just saying this to be nasty to pregnant women. I'm saying this to the whole world.


KEEP YOUR DAMN CLOTHES ON.

OK....enough of my pregnancy rants...go forth and have your babies.

An Intriguing Book

I have to admit, Monica Ali's book that was inspired by Princess Diana really has me intrigued.

It has mixed reviews, but something about a what if, involving this woman really makes me want to grab a copy and start reading.

I always find it funny when people say American's don't care about British royalty. We do. They are intriguing people, even though it is hard to fathom why anyone is born to rule a country without anyone else having a say so in that matter. But then again....voting for someone doesn't always net a good ruler either...case in point...George W. Bush...oh wait, we didn't elect him the first time around, he stole the Presidency.

Ah well, it doesn't matter. I just think this looks like it might be a fun summer read. Tis a shame though that we don't have Princess Diana to read about. I'm sure if she were still alive, her life would be much more fascinating than what any author might dream up for her.

I've Started Watching True Blood

As always, I'm a little late getting aboard the ship, but yesterday I finally watched an episode of True Blood.

I was all excited too. I was ready for an hour of hot vampire sex.

Did I get that?

Hells to the no.

For a season opener, I found the show to be a bit dull, but I'm going to try to start watching, and then go back and watch the last...erm 3 seasons. I will say that I find the cast to be exceptionally pretty.

However watching these has made me wonder about how much they draw from the books, or if they have moved beyond them.

I guess what this means is...more tv to watch. Woo hoo! Anyone want to fill me in on this stuff?

Any Idiot Can Write A Book

There are some things that really make me go Hmmm.

As if Sarah Palin's Going Rogue weren't bad enough, daughter Bristol has a memoir out.


This is just insane.

Her journey so far?

Pardon me while I throw up!

That's almost as bad as Miley Cyrus writing a book.

I realize publishers want to make scads of money off talentless people.

At least Miley has had some legitimate fame.

But Bristol Palin.

All she's done is get knocked up and go on Dancing With The Stars. I'm sorry that doesn't warrant a book in my eyes.

There are millions of teenaged girls making their way in the world with babies. Most of them have slightly more sane parents too.  Maybe one of them should write a book. Anything would be better than giving the Palin family more time in the spotlight!

Summer Reading

I have huge stacks of books that I'm trying to work through this summer. My Nook is overloaded with ebooks and my house is full of hard cover and soft.

Right now I'm reading Ira Wagler's Growing Up Amish.  Summer vacations to Lancaster, PA have given me a curiousity about the Amish culture. I snagged an ARC ebook copy of this one via Net Galley, and I'm about a third of the way through it.

I'm really enjoying it so far, and if you have a curiousity about the Amish, this book is really an eye opener.

The next few books I really want to read are historical fiction/bios.  The first is Brandy Purdy's The Turdor throne and the other is Margaret George's Elizabeth I. When I was younger I always read about the kings and queens of Europe on my summer vacations. I devoured many of Jean Plaidy's books and loved every one.

What books are you hoping to read this summer?

Sarah Quits AGAIN!

Can anyone else say they didn't see this coming?

Sarah Palin quits her bus tour.

Is there anything that this woman will stick with doing?

Oh yes, I know, being annoying.

What I can't understand is how people can follow blindly this attention seeking wingnut?

I realize that the republican party is really digging deep to come up with some candidates from 2012, but I really think she should be tossed out of the party and polical life for her behavior. I mean, she quit her governorship, for no good reason.

Doesn't that say something for her work ethic?

I don't like this...I quit!

I wish I had that option in my life...

I Wish I Could Make Things

Really, how cool is this for Wizard of Oz/Wicked fans?

Lucky for us, the creator is selling them in her Etsy shop, but they go fast.

The Disease Of The Month: Sex Addiction

Thanks to that Weiner, sex addiction is really becoming the disease of choice. I actually think it was David Ducovny that made the who addict thing popular, now it has moved on to really creepy looking politicians. Because you know, we have to have some "disease" to explain away the fact that Mr. Weiner is in fact a pig.

Sir, there is no cure for stupid, especially at your age.

It was kind of like the Congreewoman that said she couldn't believe their were flawed individuals in congress.

WTF?

Really?

I'd say 90% of congress fall under the flawed individual category.

The other thing that always makes me go hmmm about politicians and their misbehavin' ways...most of the wives stand by these guys.

It boggles the mind.

I will miss all the Weiner jokes now that this scandal is about to fizzle out.

Bridesmaids

I know, I know, Bridesmaids has been out for a month, Judd Apatow was pimping it hardcore on Twitter for a while, and it looks like The Hangover for girls, which kind of makes it easy to write off. But don't.

Bridesmaids is hilarious and a great girl's-night-out movie (but one the boys can enjoy, too, if you must take them). Although the major plot points can be a bit predictable, the film totally makes up for it. It never loses its charm. The casting was spot-on, from SNL alums Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph to scene-stealing Melissa McCarthy to the gorgeous Rose Byrne. And it was easy to relate to, even for those of us who have yet to be a bridesmaid.

It's not your typical romantic comedy, chick flick, or even general wedding film. It's worth the trip out.

Food For Thought

People are up in arms about Ronald McDonald promoting junk food and cartoon characters being used to promote sugary breakfast cereals, but what about those new Dairy Queen commercials? You know the ones that say that they blow bubbles with kittens in them?

Hey! That promotes kitten loving children to want high fat milk shakes and burgers and dogs.

Why is it that one is ok and not the other?

How is it that I've lived 36 years without being hyperactive as a result of eating Super Sugar Crisp. Yeah that's what it was called in the 80s.

There was no food entering our house that my mother didn't buy. And even if I cried and whined for it, I didn't necessarily get it. So for the love of god, stop targeting these things as if they were the culprits of why Americans are fat. That isn't the case.

Ronald McDonald didn't drag me in to eat a Big Mac.

I wonder when they'll realize that the internet has kept millions of Americans on their asses for years and years...

Hmmmm

Maybe I should keep that tidbit to myself.

Political Craziness

OK, I'm in full belief that every inch of our government is full of idjits.

~ Anthony Weiner texting pictures of his...well...his name says it all. I have only one thing to say to this. How did he think that doing something stupid like that wouldn't blow up in his face? Oh and why do people act like he's crazy good looking? And geeze Louise, he's only been married for a year!! Settle down Tony!

~ Sarah Palin doesn't know her history. Whodathunkit? Really? I say it is futher proof of her stupidity. And yet there are still people blindly following her.

What is wrong with PEOPLE!!!!

~ John Edwards is indicted for misuse of campaign funds. I bet Elizabeth is looking down from the next world and grinning at the lousy cheating fool.

 Which leads me to wonder, why do people like John and Arnold...forget about condoms when they are cheating on their wives?

So much stupidity in one government.

Fear Mongering News Stories Suck

I was looking at the MSN start page today when what popped out at me.
Pickles cause cancer?

The article went on to list places where people ate a large quantity of fermented veggies and how they have higher rates of esophagial cancers.

Yada Yada Yada

You can read the whole article here.

What it essentially says is that The World Health Organization has put PICKLES on a list of possibly carciogenic things. POSSIBLY! There's no conclusive link but there is a bit of an association.

ARGH!

I think one of the commenters on the post said it best.

"Warning: Life causes death!" everyone panic!

I think I'll go eat some pickles.

Cadbury Racist?

I'm trying to figure out why Naomi Campbell is so insulted by a Cadbury ad, except that the ad is calling her names.

But wait....it isn't calling her any bad names.....or names you'd really get upset about.

Nope, it is comparing her to a chocolate bar...

I was actually surprised by the comments on the OMG site  that agreed with me. I don't think it is racist. It is calling Naomi a diva. And how many times has Naomi acted like a diva? 

Maybe that's the real reason she's offended by the ad. Not because it is comparing her to a chocolate bar, but because it is calling her out for her lousy behavior in a nice way.

So what do you think about the ad? Is it really racist?

Foodie Review: Wendy's Berry Almond Chicken Salad

Wendy's finally has a salad on the menu that actually is healthy and quite tasty. The Berry Almond Chicken Salad is everything that it says it is...Strawberries and blueberries on a bed of greens with a packet of sliced almonds and raspberry vinegrette dressing. Oh and did I mention shaved asiago cheese? Not nearly enough for this wench's taste, but oh it is so good.

Allow me to go through the pros and cons of this tasty offering.

It is available 3 ways.

• Half salad, full and with a pair 2.
• It is one of the tastiest healthy offerings on any fast food menu.
• It is available without chicken...but unless you are a vegetarian, why would you want it that way?

Now for the cons.

• The price tag. It is the highest priced salad at the chain. Priced at $6.49 for the full salad. I can go to a sit down restaraunt and get a salad with more bang for my buck.
• It still has 450 calories and 16 grams of fat...though I'm sure that's mostly the almonds.  

This isn't a menu option for anyone on a budget. And well...the McDonald's Asian salad is much better for you and just as tasty. Still...for a treat during the summer months this is a good salad to grab..especially with the Wild Berry Iced Tea.

Donate to a Good Cause

I know, I know, people are always asking for money. I have a pile of mail from organizations asking for donations that I can't afford to honor right now, and I'm going to do so when I can because 1) I feel bad 2) they send me really nice address labels 3) I'm a sucker.

It helps when the cause is well-known, or when you can put a face to the organization. If you've read Mark Reads, for example, you might want to sponsor Mark in Los Angeles' annual AIDS/LifeCycle ride.

Mark's goal is to raise $10,000. Help make his dream a reality and help people with AIDS.

Progress is being made--a man from the Bay Area seems to have been cured of the disease. Everyone give three cheers for science!

Gaga Refutes Critcism That She Wants Attention

Too bad she doesn't do it well.

Rolling Stone has a preview of yet another Gaga cover story in which she says the claims that she wants attention annoy her and that she already has attention. Obviously true, but that still doesn't mean she doesn't want more or wasn't out for it before she had it.

"Is it that you believe that I am attention-seeking or shock for shock's sake, or is it just that it's been a long time since someone has embraced the art form the way that I have?" she says.

Yes to the former, Mother Monster. If that wasn't the case, you wouldn't change outfits numerous times to award shows. You wouldn't show up in an egg to others. You wouldn't have done that really awkward childbirth bit in your Saturday Night Live performance. Your antics have done nothing to suggest that music and art are the goal.

Wrong on the latter, though. Plenty of other musicians before you and even now have done similar things, and the problem is your critics see that and see through you.

She goes on to say that maybe it's because artists aren't as vocal on social issues. Wrong again. These days activism seems more predominant outside of the mainstream, but it's still done, it's done well, and its acknowledged and praised.

The problem is, Gaga, that you think you're original when plenty of people know you're not. You've brought nothing new to the genre. Your lyrics have become sub-par. People talk more about your clothes than your music. You've made an obvious effort to stay relevant and in the spotlight by releasing new music quickly--and it's suffered--and touring constantly with an overpriced spectacle that focuses more on theatrics than on talent, which you have but overshadow.

We don't "expect little," as you say. Some of us just know better.

Speaking Of Pittsburgh Bands

Oddly most of my favorite Pittsburgh bands are country, except for one, Donora.

I'm excited to say that they have a new video out and it is super cute. Looks like there's going to be a new album out in the coming months as well.

But check out The Chorus now. Oh and raise your hand if you remembered playing with the parachute in gym class!!

Don't Like It? Pretend It Doesn't Exist!

Tennessee Senate has passed a bill that will ban teachers from kindergarten through eighth grade from discussing homosexuality.

Everyone congratulate Tennessee for being so accepting!

I get the fact that some people don't like homosexuality--I don't agree with their views and think they're not even trying to understand how complex sexuality really is, but I realize that people think this way and they always will. I get that for some reason people think they need to protect their children, but I don't get from what. What I also don't get--and never will--is why this is a government issue.

Admittedly, homosexuality was never addressed when I was in school, but I also went to Catholic school. However, I did learn in elementary school that the word "gay" meant something other than "happy" but never knew exactly what for a long time, and my wonderful curiosity has made that memory stick with me. But to completely go out of your way legally to make it completely off limits? It's extreme and discriminatory and a step backwards. We can teach kids about drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes but not love regardless of gender? My elementary school could bring in a man without a voice box when I was in kindergarten (which scared the shit out of me and made me go home and insist that my dad quit occasionally smoking cigars because he would die) but can't explain to curious children what "gay" is? Great job, America.

Things That Make Me Happy

~ Hines Ward winning DWTS. This was the only season I truly watched, voted and cared about. All because of Hines Ward.

~ Getting free books in the mail. I'm all about free!

~ Owl City! I don't know how I missed this band. I've seen there albums around but never bothered to listen. I love them now!!

~ 3 day weekends!! Nuff said there, right?

~ Donald Trump not running for president. I was really scared that he would be crazy enough to get elected!!

~ $20.00 Gift Cards from Amazon

So what makes you happy?

$130,000 For THE HAT

The hat from hell, has officially been auctioned off!

I wonder if Aretha thought of auctioning her inaugural hat off, that one was kewl, this one is just CRAZY!

However, it has generated more buzz than anything those two newly married royals have done.

Though one does have to wonder what exactly the winner of the auction is going to do with this hat?

Pittsburgh's Latest

Well, sort of.

Blue of Colors is the solo project of Punchline lead singer Steve Soboslai. Despite Steve's unique voice, the song is definitely a departure from Punchline's pop-punk--it's nice, mellow music for all you fans of folk- and indie-type stuff.

"Goodbye Stranger" is the first song Steve's put online. Enjoy.

Let's Talk About TV

As this season of telly draws to a close I find myself becoming more and more disillusioned with the boob tube.

There's entirely too many reality based shows everywhere and the dramas and comedies are all the same or at least they feel like they are all the same.

I have a few staples in my viewing...Big Bang Theory, Mike and Molly and The Middle for comedies. NCIS, Castle (here and there) and Bones for my dramas. Oh and let's not forget Doctor Who. I must have some Who.

I just wish there was something more entertaining out there.

My mother commented during The Middle last night that there was more commercial time than actual show time! WTF is up with that.

In the UK, most shows that run a half hour are pretty close to that. In the US they are only about 20 minutes long, and actors are pulling in huge amounts of money!

Doctor Who is about 48 to 50 minutes except when it is on BBC America where they shave off about 8 minutes of the show somewhere.

How is this right?

Do commercials really affect our buying that much?

GAH!!!!

And while I'm bitching...USA Network, since Monk left your ranks...all of your shows...with the exception of White Collar have gotten really really boring!!!

Mumford & Sons

I've praised them before, but it needs to be done again. Especially since I finally got around to buying their album, Sigh No More, on a whim. All I'd heard was "Little Lion Man," but sometimes a single song is so good that you think going in blind on a CD just might be worth it. That's a chance you have to take. Sometimes it ends well. Sometimes it doesn't.

If you're like me and have only heard "Little Lion Man" and liked it but weren't sure if that's enough to justify laying down the cash on an album--because let's be real, they're overpriced and often singles are emphasized over a whole solid album--trust me when I say the money is worth it. "Little Lion Man" is a good representation of what to expect, but not of just how beautiful, impressive, and intense this band gets. Finding an album these days that's exhilarating from start to finish is rare, but this is one of those diamonds in the rough. Nothing will make you more sure of that than quiet country drives alone with said album.

Mumford & Sons does not disappoint in any way. They're catchy, pretty, fun, somber, emotional, relatable, uplifting...everything you want from an album these days but can rarely get.

Get The Gaga Out Of My Facebook

I'm so over Lady Gaga. When she has to infiltrate my facebook games to sell her album, I get pretty pissed. Right now she's taken over my Zynga Games. You know, Farmville, Cafe World etc?

Yeah!

I've had the misfortune of listening to two of the new songs from Born This Way, and I really have to say, I'm unimpressed.

Both Electric Chapel and Marry The Night leave a lot to be desired.

It goes so show that most people really don't care about the music, because her music is pretty boring. They compare her to Madonna, but at least Madonna's music in the 80s was worth listening to.

All I can say is this: Please make the scary lady go away!!

Gaga Shenanigans as Usual

The pop powerhouse (and peeve) that is Lady Gaga has once again released a song from her upcoming Born This Way. So now we have "Born This Way," "Judas," "Edge of Glory," and "Hair." Aside from their album and artist, what do they all prove? That Gaga's originality--as has been pointed out time and time again, especially by us Wenches--is more like a facade.

Since the world was most recently given "Hair," let's talk about that.

First of all, if you didn't see the song title and think, "Oh sweet baby Jesus, please tell me that's not a cover from the beautiful musical of love and LSD!" then we have little in common and can't be friends. But if that is what you thought, you and I can revel in the relief that it is, in fact, an original Gaga tune...in a manner of speaking. Which brings us to Point #2.

Like its hippie predecesor, Gaga's "Hair" is an anthem all about, you guessed it, hair. Some subjects will be covered by songwriters time and time again (love and heartache, for example) and hairy issues are no exception (AFI's "I Wanna Mohawk (But Mom Won't Let Me Get One)" anyone?) but to have a song with the exact same title and unique subject matter as a song from decades earlier currently being revived?

Then there are the lyrics, which are terrible, just like all the other Born This Way songs that have come before it. Except maybe "Edge of Glory." "Born This Way" was full of cliches, "Judas" was only redeemed by its chorus, and now "Hair" reads like it was ripped out of a middle school girl's diary in the middle of a fight with Mom and Dad whilst trying to assert her individuality. "Whenever I dress cool / My parents put up a fight"? "Whether my hair is pink / My soul is pink"? Everything about this album feels super rushed and over-hyped.

Someone needs to tell Lady Gaga that being able to crank out lyrics to a song in ten minutes isn't necessarily a good, impressive thing. Few songwriters have been able to brag about that fact, and any writer will tell you that something they wrote in ten minutes probably falls under the category of their worst work, not their best.

Try harder, Lady.

Gossipy Bits

~ The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are wasting another million to go on their honeymoon to a private island for 10 days. Must be nice to take vacations at the expense of the British public. Now I'm no hater of the monarchy. I find them really amusing. But when the country is likely footing the bill, maybe a little jaunt somewhere a little less pricey. Especially after a wedding that cost $60 million! Yikes!

~ Speaking of those royals Princess Beatrice is going to auction off "THE HAT". You know that pink spider-like thing she had on her noggin for the royal wedding? Proceeds from the auction will go to Unicef! Woo hoo! More fame for the hat!!

~ Mary Tyler Moore is having brain surgery to remove a benign tumor. Let's hope all goes well for the funny lady.

~ Hugh Grant was considered to replace Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men. WTF! However if he had been cast the shows entertainment value would have gone up significantly.

So what gossipy bits have amused you?

Dullsville Trolley

What is it with celebrities right now...It seems that now that the royal wedding is over there is nothing to talk about. Unless you want to talk about Paul and Nancy walking down the aisle, and thank you very much, but I don't.

So what is there to talk about?

We could talk about Pippa Middleton, but really? I've had it with most of the royals...

Unless you want to talk about Prince Harry. I'm always up for talking about sexy redheads!

See

Of course, Prince Harry is not my absolute favorite redhead. See he's about 10 years younger than me, so thinking he is totally hot and doable kind of makes me feel like one of two things:

1. A Cougar...and sadly I look nothing like Courtney Cox. (damn it)

2. A dirty old lady.

Poo!

But seriously, how can you resist that ornery look in his eye...and it seems when he's not shacking up with that horsefaced Chelsy Davy, who makes Camilla Parker Bowles look like a supermodel....he does seem to go for older women!

Hey Prince Harry! Can I get in line?

But let's talk about my other favorite redhead! Danny Elfman!!

I think he's totally mellowed now that he's remarried, but Danny is still one of my favorite redheads...

Own a Piece of Pop Culture Beauty

Have you ever watched the 90s classic Home Alone and thought, "Damn, that's a gorgeous house. I'd love to live there." I haven't, because I was too young to care when the movie came out and now I'm too focus on the nostalgia. But if you have, the house is now for sale.

It'll cost you, though--it's going for $2.4 million. I admit, not as much as I thought it would be on the market for, but still a good bit of money. But it is a nice, big, iconic house, and it's the first time it's been put up for sale since the movie filmed.

This house isn't the only iconic movie home to hit the market recently. Cameron's house from Ferris Bueller's Day Off was also recently put up for sale, and it's cheaper: $1.65 million.

I'd rather have Cameron's house because: 1) Cameron is my favorite Ferris Bueller character, 2) Cameron is one of my favorite film characters ever, 3) that house is badass, 4) it's in the woods and that rules. And it's very modern. Unlike the Home Alone house, though, this one did hit the market before in 2009 for $2.3 million.

Things That Annoy Part XII

Actually I have no idea what installment this is, so just giggle with me.

1. Bill O'Reilly dissing the Royal Family. This man doesn't have two brain cells to rub together and his bitching and moaning about people in other countries. Get over yourself, and no one wants to hear you. Go away!

2. Osama Bin Laden: Ok...he's dead. Frankly I'm a bit underwhelmed by the whole thing. I don't feel super patriotic or any safer now that he's been taken out. Oh and I am sick to death of hearing about people wanting to see pictures. To them I say: NO THANKS!

3. TV: I'm over just about every show that I usally watch with the exception of Doctor Who. Please writers, do something amusing. Thank god for books!

4. The Disney Channel: 2 things for this channel of evil.

 a: The girls you hire can't sing. I love the girl that plays Teddy on Good Luck Charlie but she can't carry a tune!

b. Why are all the good shows ending this year!! How will I exist without The Suite Life?

It Was Only a Matter of Time...

...before Twitter users jumped on the chance to make fake Osama accounts and bring off-color hilarity to the world. I give you GhostOsama.

Remember, no person - dead, alive, or fictional - is immune from a fake Twitter. We also have such gems as ShitMyDarthSays, PimpBillClinton, and for the Pens fans, FakeRayShero.

More Royal Wedding Blatherings

There's a lot I don't understand about Royality. I truly understand the pagentry that goes with the marriages of the heir to the throne. Plus really, who wouldn't want that kind of wedding for themself if they had the money to put on such a fete? I know I would

William will be King of England one day, God willing.  Though at this point he will probably be well into his old age when that happens because Granny the Queen is still doing well...and Charles certainly doesn't seem like he'd be willing to abdicate in favor of this son.

But all the rest...a Honeymoon?

Granted they really aren't taking one now..but still.

Uh...they've been living together for much of the last 5 years or so.

They've vacationed together from the beginning.

Honeymoon?

Oye! and vey!

But hey..they are pretty to look at....and we all want to see what they are doing because it makes us...even American's feel like there is something magical in the world...and you just can't get that kind of magic with a democracy.

The Best Part of the Royal Wedding

No, I didn't watch the Royal Wedding. I finished all my college coursework EVER last night, so you know what I did? I passed right out, slept really late, and loved every minute of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for the royal couple and it's awesome and Kate looked totally gorgeous, but I knew all the news stations would be playing clips all day and social media would be all over everything. I was totally right. There's even a GIF floating around of their kiss, which is adorable.

But the best picture to come out of this whole thing?

A True Work of Horror

I don't scare easily. I laughed during The Exorcist and was almost entirely unphased during Paranormal Activity. But a YouTube series that's probably cheaper than dirt to make has me entirely freaked out, even though I know the entire thing is fake. It's Marble Hornets, and if you're familiar with Slender Man lore on the internet you know all about it. If not, don't turn to Google - just watch the introduction and Entry #1 and see what happens.

It's like a combination of H. P. Lovecraft, Signs, The Ring, and a good version of The Blair Witch Project. Really unnerving, scary, and a well-done mystery.

You May Not Kiss The Bride

With stuff about the Royal Wedding plastered just about everywhere you go, more and more things about the Royal Brits make me go WTF!

If you read this article you will see that there won't be a kiss at the end of the ceremony.

It's just not done in the Church Of England.

Hmmm

Really?

That's all too Hollywood?

Really?

Seems to me they don't kiss because that would make them appear human. After all kissing at the end of the wedding isn't something new, or something that Hollywood made up.

Funny thing is I found this info on several websites

And then there is the kiss at the end of the wedding ceremony. In ancient times, the kiss was legally binding and signified mutual acceptance of the contract of marriage. It is said that the bride and the groom "exchanged a bit of their souls" with the breath of a kiss!

So my advice to England's royalty.

Get over yourselves!

To Parody Or Not To Parody

Lady Gaga turned Weird Al down the first time he asked her if he could parody her song Born This Way.

She has since changed her mind.

But really!

Having Weird Al parody your song is a compliment of the highest degree. Even if the song is silly, Weird Al does everything tastefully.  I can't imagine why she turned him down the first time.

Go to Youtube and check out Perform This Way  you'll get a laugh, because it is more a lampoon of Gaga than the song...which for the most part stinks.

Weird Al, at least makes it worth listening to.

Celebrity Gossip Sites Breed Hatred

I love to read gossip just as much as anyone else. I love to know the crazy stuff that millionaires are up to, but what I can't stand about sites like Popeater.com are the comments to the posts.

Most of the time they make my head want to explode!

There are always a handful of people wishing someone dead. Bashing someone or calling them fat or ugly.

Crikey.

Jealous much?

Granted I don't find artists like Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus supremely talented, but some people cross the line.  Sure you can state an opinion, even with a little snark, but some of the comments are really nasty.

If you don't like someone, why comment on the article? Why would you even read it.

It is even worse on News websites for anything political. I swear Obama is more hated than Bush...and jeeze...I don't think he's done anything to deserve it.

Goes to prove what a bunch of racist, hate filled individuals live in this country.

ARGH

Want to Be in a Newspaper?

The Tribune Review has a reporter on the prowl for people with stories of how they've been impacted by inflation. If you have something to say - and I know plenty of people do - contact Tom Olson by e-mailing him at tolson@tribweb.com or calling 412-320-7854.

One of the great things about being a writer is giving people the opportunity to tell their stories. Show everyone from your experiences what's going on and try to make a difference.

So Long Sarah Jane Smith

Elisabeth Sladen the actress best known for portraying Sarah Jane Smith, companion to Doctor Who has passed away. She had been battling cancer for a long time.

I can't remember when I last felt so bad about a celebrity death. I love Doctor Who and Sarah's character has always been one of my favorites on the show. I especially loved her new series The Sarah Jane Adventures.

She was such a beautiful and talented lady.

Why Eating Healthy Sucks

I've tried many times to go the healthy route. I've bought cook books and diet books. I subscribed to the Hungry Girl emails.

You know what?

All of these doctors, authors, TV people do it wrong.

Not that I know how to do it right, but they all write their books and doll out recipes and advice for people who are single and likely living alone or have lots of money to kill.

I want someone to come up with healthy eating on a budget. OK, on a college budget. I may be employeed full time, but I'm pretty sure there are college kids that are making more than I am.

That 4 year degree really did me good.

But back to Budget Friendly Healthy Eating.

I want to be full and satisfied, but I don't want to have to spend $30 on an internet order to get vitatop muffins. I don't want to mail order strange noodles to replace spaghetti, because

1. I can't afford it.

2. The rest of my family will kill me.

Why can't these people come up with stuff that won't make the person...erm dieting feel left out at the supper table?

Oh yeah, they like to torture us.

And this is why we all go to McDonald's and order a Quarter Pounder.

Rant ended...I'm hungry

I Don't Understand Ayn Rand

In high school, I had teachers talk about Ayn Rand and how great she was and how everyone needs to read Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead. So finally, in college, I've made it to the latte - The Fountainhead - and over 100 pages in, I'm trying to figure out what the hype was about because really, she doesn't deserve it.

While her ultra-conservative views are definitely disconcerting, the main problem for me right now is The Fountainhead is incredibly boring. So far, it's a bunch of architects drawing and talking about drawing and going through architect drama. Nothing is happening. And I have lots more pages to go.

Going along with that is the fact that the characters are incredibly flat. They're all simple and they're all alike, to the point that I have trouble distinguishing between them. And because of that, I don't care about any of them. The dialogue is unrealistic and cliched. And the characters are unlikeable - they're all self-interested and boring, with nothing notable about them.

Am I alone in this?

Things That Make Me Go Hmmmm and Woo hoo

~ Republicans passed a budget that will slash social safety net programs like food stamps and Medicaid and fundamentally restructure Medicare health care for the elderly. Way to go fucktards. I can't believe people voted for you.

~ Charlie Sheen is organizing a Bi-Polar Awareness Week. Maybe he should become aware of it..and get some help himself!

~ Miley Cyrus won't be touring the US because she doesn't feel the love here. Hmmm. Could it be because we know she hasn't got talent. But then again, people still watch Idol....so that really can't be it...maybe we're just sick of her!

~ OMG OMG OMG there's going to be a Men In Black III. I have no idea why that fills me with such glee. Aw hell..the movies are such fun, and Will Smith is so damn cute! I can't wait.

~ Drew Carey has a new Improv-A-Ganza show on GSN! Yay! Not as good as Whose Line, but it still gets a squee from me

Random News Related Thoughts

~ A Chicago school banned kids from bringing their lunches. OMG! I'm getting sick of this country telling us what to eat. Apparently freedom isn't really what this country is all about. All I can say is they better make damn good lunches in that school and they better have options to cater to all the food allergies out there.

~ The republicans running for president in 2012. Pardon me while I overuse OMG, but OMG!!!! And Donald Trump? Please no! He'd fire us all and sell us to the Chinese to pay off the debt.

~ The nuclear disaster in Japan: Again OMG do they not realize how many cancer deaths there are going to be in the next 50 years as a result of this. Why can't we come up with ways of living that actually help us. But then again that is a republican thing...make more money...who gives a shit about people and the environment.

Do I sound like a bleeding heart liberal? Maybe it is because I am.

Who to Follow on Twitter: The Reckoning

I know tons of people who still can't get on board with the Twitter thing, especially my classmates. I understand this. In some ways, it's a great tool for writers and funny people. And there are plenty of funny people around. I've highlighted some before, but they just keep on popping up.

White Girl Problems: Oh, white girls. Our lives are just SO HARD.

PimpBillClinton: What if Bill Clinton was a total pimp? Oh, wait...

fsmikey: For the Pittsburghers - Mikey of Kiss FM's Morning Freak Show. He's up on all the latest pop culture nonsense, Pens news, and Fayette County nonsense. And he loves my Fayette County blog.

Texts from Last Night: What happens when you're bad drunk texts from last night meet the internet.

BreakingNews: It's not all funny all the time. Links to articles, quick information, etc. This was great for following the news in Egypt as it happened for quick, real-time updates.

Jon Stewart Is the Greatest Human Alive

Glenn Beck has announced that he's leaving Fox and I'm weeping for joy. Jon Stewart, on the other hand, is busy doing the most spot-on impression and parody of Beck that the world has ever seen.

You can watch the full episode over on the Daily Show website here.

Must We Remake Everything?

I'm horrified after having watching the trailer for Arthur.

I know that Russell Brand is apparently the next big thing but seriously....Arthur is a true classic and I'm sure Dudley Moore is rolling over in his grave for it.

Is nothing sacred?

Apparently not.

It is also apparent that there's a total lack of creativity in Hollyweird if we have to recycle films that are only 30 years old.

So if you have a desire to see Arthur, I beg you not to.

If you want to see the film, netflix the original film and it's sequel, starring Dudley Moore and Liza Minnelli. Those will be worth your dollar.

Because Covers Are Fun

If you saw any commercials for the Pens/FSN a season or so ago, you heard The Clarks' cover of "What a Wonderful World." But chances are you haven't had en equally epic cover - that of Punchline.

Somehow, pop-punk makes it even happier.

I'm So Glad I Don't Live In The City

Once again the Port Authority has proven how inept they are.  Because they can't run a company, several bus routes have been discontinued leaving many people with no way to get to work.

This was posted on several of the major news channels facebook pages last week, and there is always an idiot troll that says one of two things:

1. Buy a car! : Really? The cost of owning and commuting to work in the city is pretty damn expensive. You have to pay to have a parking spot in most areas of the city, not to mention the cost of parking when you go to work. There's a reason why many people don't drive or own vehicles.

2. I don't use public transportation so I don't think my tax dollars should pay for something I don't use.

The second one really got me, because the mindset is that only people that are uneducated take public transportation. They forget that students use the buses. Buses are useful. I'm sure if I lived in the city, I'd use them. I used to take the 88 Transit bus to my college before I had a car.

I'm so sick of people coming down on the poor.  Telling them to get a better job or that they are lazy because they aren't making a lot of money.

That mindset pissed me off because I have a sibling that's used it on me.  Sure I could probably have a better paying job, but I wouldn't be able to be there for my parents as much as I am now. Sure I'd like to have more money, but I would prefer to have my parents alive and happy more than that. 

What I find is that this mindset belongs to most Republicans. Screw poor people, just as long as the rich keep getting richer.

It disgusts me.

So much about life disgusts me right now.

Fallon Does It Again

You've undoubtedly heard Rebecca Black's "Friday." Unless you're like me, hear people complaining these things, and make it a point to avoid them until one day you happen to see it linked and click it just to see what all the whining's about.

The good news is it makes all the internet memes make sense.

The other good news is it spawned the most badass video.

But best off all, Jimmy Fallon once again nails it with a brilliant cover. Just watch and love.

Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy Part 2

The more I listen to country music, the more I've determined that I'd like to save a few horses! Have I mentioned that I think that the song I'm referencing is pretty vile?

Never mind that...if I were going to ride a cowboy or two...here are a few more hotties from the country music charts....sadly a lot of them are married.

Sadly, Tim McGraw is taken by Faith Hill. Damn and blast, but that doesn't stop a girl from looking and drooling a little bit right?

He also stars in the movie Country Strong. I've heard he was actually pretty good in it, playing along side, Gwenthe Paltrow.

I'm not sure why people think she deserves a recording contract, her voice is only passably good.

~sigh~

Such is the way of things in the music business these days.

Next up is Billy Currington.

I pretty much think that this picture speaks for itself. Not that it really has to say much.

I mean really?

Who needs words when you can look at that?

~ pardon me while I wipe the drool off my monitor!

Oo La La!

I'm not sure I can go on....

I mean...

Whoa!

OK, now that I've regained my composure, or something close to it.

Sadly Joe Nichols has his clothes on in this picture.

If only tequila made HIS clothes fall off.

So once again, I have to say, like it or not, country music has some pretty damn good looking artists.

Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go drool a bit at this hunks, and maybe even hunt down some pictures of some other country music hotties for the next installment of

Save a Horse, Ride A Cowboy!

Enjoy the eye candy!

The Internet and Hitler

We all know the internet is the best place for off-color humor. The best kind of off-color internet humor is, of course, Hitler humor. The internet has been making Hitler look like an ass - more than he already did look like an ass - probably since its inception, and the latest example of this is Hipster Hitler. Enjoy.

MTV Movie Awards

It's that time of year again for MTV to pretend it's awards mean something and honor the year's best movies.

Wait, best movies? That can't be right. Not when Twilight is in the running for a ton, and not in the fun, Razzie way.

Here's how things should be: Inception should win everything, with some exceptions for Kick Ass, because that was a seriously solid film. I can't speak for much else, since I didn't see much else, but I'm going to guess the few nominations for critically acclaimed movies like Blue Valentine deserve to win the most but most of MTV's audience won't have any clue about them because they'll have been too busy watching Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, and Skins. Note: I too watch Teen Mom and I watched the original British Skins, but couldn't take much of the poorly acted, dramatic, and stereotype-ridden American one.

But here's how things will be: Twilight will win everything, with a few exceptions for Harry Potter, and Harry Potter wins will probably be deserved, not to mention contribute to my new job as Harry Potter Examiner. In the rare case Twilight loses to something that's not Harry Potter, the fangirls will riot and talk about what a travesty it is, since Robert Pattinson is so totally hot and Twilight is the greatest book of all time (which it is, if you like bad writing, weak plot points that don't make sense, terrible characters, and dependent relationships).

So save America and vote for some worthwhile movies.

I'm Pretty Sure God Doesn't Love Westboro Baptist Church.

The controversial Westboro Baptist Church announced plans to protest Elizabeth Taylor's funeral.  I wonder if these people ever read the bible? Or even paid attention to Jesus.

I'm pretty sure somewhere in that book it says something about "Love your neighbor as yourself." "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," and my favorite, "he who is without sin, cast the first stone."

By the way, I'm pretty sure, Jesus would be on her side with her on her fight against AIDS.

I truly hate these people. They make me so angry. They make me even angrier at our constitution which allows them to be big old assholes. I understand that they have the right to a peaceful protest, but they are protesting the wrong thing. A dead soldier? A dead actress?

Why do they show up at funerals...why don't they show up at a Pride Parade to protest.

Oh wait..then they might have their asses kicked...hopefully by a big drag queen with a pink feather boa. Now that would be worth watching.

They hurt people in their time of grief. They don't even have the guts to protest where people might be able to argue with them.

They disgust me and there protests are nothing but hate filled idiocy. They should be ashamed of themselves.