MTV Movie Awards

It's that time of year again for MTV to pretend it's awards mean something and honor the year's best movies.

Wait, best movies? That can't be right. Not when Twilight is in the running for a ton, and not in the fun, Razzie way.

Here's how things should be: Inception should win everything, with some exceptions for Kick Ass, because that was a seriously solid film. I can't speak for much else, since I didn't see much else, but I'm going to guess the few nominations for critically acclaimed movies like Blue Valentine deserve to win the most but most of MTV's audience won't have any clue about them because they'll have been too busy watching Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, and Skins. Note: I too watch Teen Mom and I watched the original British Skins, but couldn't take much of the poorly acted, dramatic, and stereotype-ridden American one.

But here's how things will be: Twilight will win everything, with a few exceptions for Harry Potter, and Harry Potter wins will probably be deserved, not to mention contribute to my new job as Harry Potter Examiner. In the rare case Twilight loses to something that's not Harry Potter, the fangirls will riot and talk about what a travesty it is, since Robert Pattinson is so totally hot and Twilight is the greatest book of all time (which it is, if you like bad writing, weak plot points that don't make sense, terrible characters, and dependent relationships).

So save America and vote for some worthwhile movies.