Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Internet and Hitler

We all know the internet is the best place for off-color humor. The best kind of off-color internet humor is, of course, Hitler humor. The internet has been making Hitler look like an ass - more than he already did look like an ass - probably since its inception, and the latest example of this is Hipster Hitler. Enjoy.

Monday, March 28, 2011

MTV Movie Awards

It's that time of year again for MTV to pretend it's awards mean something and honor the year's best movies.

Wait, best movies? That can't be right. Not when Twilight is in the running for a ton, and not in the fun, Razzie way.

Here's how things should be: Inception should win everything, with some exceptions for Kick Ass, because that was a seriously solid film. I can't speak for much else, since I didn't see much else, but I'm going to guess the few nominations for critically acclaimed movies like Blue Valentine deserve to win the most but most of MTV's audience won't have any clue about them because they'll have been too busy watching Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, and Skins. Note: I too watch Teen Mom and I watched the original British Skins, but couldn't take much of the poorly acted, dramatic, and stereotype-ridden American one.

But here's how things will be: Twilight will win everything, with a few exceptions for Harry Potter, and Harry Potter wins will probably be deserved, not to mention contribute to my new job as Harry Potter Examiner. In the rare case Twilight loses to something that's not Harry Potter, the fangirls will riot and talk about what a travesty it is, since Robert Pattinson is so totally hot and Twilight is the greatest book of all time (which it is, if you like bad writing, weak plot points that don't make sense, terrible characters, and dependent relationships).

So save America and vote for some worthwhile movies.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

I'm Pretty Sure God Doesn't Love Westboro Baptist Church.

Historic Print (M): Liza, Liz [Elizabeth Taylor] and Mike Todd
The controversial Westboro Baptist Church announced plans to protest Elizabeth Taylor's funeral.  I wonder if these people ever read the bible? Or even paid attention to Jesus.

I'm pretty sure somewhere in that book it says something about "Love your neighbor as yourself." "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," and my favorite, "he who is without sin, cast the first stone."

By the way, I'm pretty sure, Jesus would be on her side with her on her fight against AIDS.

I truly hate these people. They make me so angry. They make me even angrier at our constitution which allows them to be big old assholes. I understand that they have the right to a peaceful protest, but they are protesting the wrong thing. A dead soldier? A dead actress?

Why do they show up at funerals...why don't they show up at a Pride Parade to protest.

Oh wait..then they might have their asses kicked...hopefully by a big drag queen with a pink feather boa. Now that would be worth watching.

They hurt people in their time of grief. They don't even have the guts to protest where people might be able to argue with them.

They disgust me and there protests are nothing but hate filled idiocy. They should be ashamed of themselves.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Rest In Peace Liz

As most of you already know Liz Taylor passed away this morning at the age of 79. Rather than tell you all about her, as you most likely have heard all of it 20 times over, I thought I'd share some of the movies she's been in.

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?Suddenly, Last SummerThe Last Time I Saw Paris DVD Elizabeth TaylorTaming of the Shrew
Little Women (1949)Cleopatra (Special Edition) [VHS]

Liz may be gone, but her work in films and humanitarian efforts will not be forgotten.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Happy 80th To The Shat!

William Shatner
I think it is totally unbelievable that William Shatner is 80 years old. That's only about 5 years younger than my dad.


I think The Shat looks pretty darn good for his age, and his talent never wanes. Right now I'm hoping Bleep My Dad Says comes back for another season because it was so freaking funny.

William Shatner is so much more than just James T. Kirk.  He's a writer, a rather humorous singer and an all around entertaining guy!

Let's hope he has many more birthdays!

The Wenches love you!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

What A Beautiful Man

I just watched the 25th anniversary cast of Les Miserables, and I have to say, I was totally taken aback by Alfie Boe's performance as Jean Valjean.

I've seen this show a few times and I've watched the 10th anniversary cast, which is fantastic, but I have to say,  Alfie steals the show.

Of course, considering some of the cast, it isn't hard, but no matter, his voice is beyond superb. When he sang Bring Him Home, I cried. 

It is a shame the rest of the cast didn't have his talent.

Nick Jonas as Marius? WTF!

But here's proof of his stunning voice

Bob Dylan Takes on "Charles in Charge"

I know plenty of people that can't stand Jimmy Fallon, and a few that adore him. One thing that can't be denied is the fact that the man does some stellar impressions, especially of musicians. Especially musicians singing ridiculous songs. And only Jimmy Fallon would take the stage as Bob Dylan - and pretty excellently - singing the Charles in Charge theme song.


Wednesday, March 16, 2011

I Love Spring!

Spring is probably my favorite season. The start of warmer weather! Flowers in bloom. All the usual stuff. But what I love the most about spring? Fashion!

Spring means it is time to put the sweats away! The sweaters and bulky clothes can get put away for a few months!

Woo hoo for that.

I hate winter clothes.

I'm not much of a shorts and t-shirt girl, which is why I'm not too keen on summer fashion. I don't bare flesh if I don't have to, but oh how I love spring clothes! The colors are always bright and fun...and finally things are light!

This is an example of the stuff I obsess over when I want to buy new clothes. Oh NY & Co. I'm so glad there aren't many of your stores near me, or I would be in so much debt!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

A New Level Of Obnoxious

I'm not sure which celebrity I find more obnoxious these days; Conan O'Brien Or Charlie Sheen. It seems like Charlie is following Coco's lead and taking his crazy on tour, with the first few dates sold out almost instantly.


It really makes you wonder about the American Public.

Charlie is not a comedian.

What people are paying to see is a meltdown of a crazy man.

Its sad and creepy all at the same time.

And yet, Charlie will be "duh....winning" all the way to the bank.

I can't even begin to fathom how much money he'll make from those shows...and from the lawsuit...because, I don't see how CBS will do anything but lose. Now if they fired him or stopped the show when he actually had done something....not months and months down the line...I'd think otherwise...but as it is..I think they are screwed.

Ah..why am I wasting time thinking about this....

Charlie is a crazy man...albiet a rich one...

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Cheesy Pop Music

Price Tag (feat. B.o.B)
When it comes to pop music, I always look to Britain for tunes. Right now there's a few great little pop tartlets with songs that will worm their way into your brain. My favorite is Jessie J. 

Her current single is called Price Tag and it is just adorable, much like Jessie.  Its just a fun song. It isn't going to change your life or make you think, but as I've said before, that really isn't the point of pop music.  Pop music is supposed to be fun.  It should make you want to get up and move, and Price Tag definitely does that.

So give the song a listen, and let me know what you think.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Dear Phil

Dear Phil Collins,

It has been brought to my attention that you are quitting music. I am deeply saddened. I've been a fan for years, and I loved the songs that were cutesy as well as the more serious stuff.

I remember seeing you in concert at Starlake Amphitheater. It was one of the few shows at that venue that I actually enjoyed. It was the But Seriously Tour. You put on a fantastic show.

You shouldn't have to apologize for the success of songs like Against All Odds, A Groovy Kind Of Love or any other song. They were great songs and they still are. So what if they are adult contemporary. People think Celine Dion is the bees knees, and Phil, you are by far a superior performer and singer.

I understand that you have health issues that make playing the drums difficult, so I understand your need to distance yourself. However, you will be missed. Your music was and always will be quality and you should be proud of it.

I wish you all the best in your retirement.


The Mistress Of The Dark...

A Phil Collins Fangirl

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Something A Little Light And Fun

~ Totally sick of the media blitz on Charlie Sheen. The man is in denial and in need of some serious medication.  Oye and Vey.

~ Chrisina Aguilera gets brought in for Public Drunkeness while out with her boyfriend who is now being held for DUI. Uh chicky....you have a young child. Might want to stay away from the booze so the kid can have a mother.

Celebrities....seriously....why have kids if you are going to drink/drug yourself to death.

But now for the light fun thing...

Bertrum Thumbcat...and the best ever milk commercial from the UK.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Charlie "Tiger Blood" Sheen

Look, normally when I see a celebrity tran wreck going down, I feel kind of bad and just hope they get help, but some of this Charlie Sheen shit is golden. And I'm going to leave it at that and let the internet and its greatest gems speak for themselves tonight.

First, some links: www.livethesheendream.com and pictures of baby sloths paired with some of Charlie's finest quotes.

And now, an artist rendering of this chaos.

Keep on winning, wenches.