Yesterday the Duke was loosened upon the earth as scores of eager fans lined up to plunk down two hours worth of minimum wage pay for their own personal In-Duke-Pendence Day.
Honestly? Any conventional review I'm going to give will do a huge disservice to both the movie and the loyal readers (or service, depending on how you look at things). You already know the plot: a big talking dog learns life lessons with lots of fart jokes and sight gags that its target audience is too young to understand. (I mean, seriously, did the screenwriters at least consider that the underagers were in diapers at best when the OC was airing?)
Instead, I've decided to create a highlights reel of all the WTF moments your accurate plot guessing will leave out:
- dogs on hallucinogens!
- Marmaduke rollin' in a Mini Cooper listening to Tupac!
- George Lopez as a side kick in his second batshit weird movie about talking dogs in two years!
- shade tippin'!
- William H. Macy doing his best to pretend he's in another Mamet production, weird speech pattern and all!
- A very vigilant dog catcher who's willing to go into a large thicket of bushes near a train yard close to midnight in the pouring rain!
- a dog jumps from a shed into a pool shouting "I AM A GOLDEN DOG!!!"
- a flashback to presumably the 1950s when the Duke was a puppy!
- CGI dog dance sequence!
- Racism in the guise of adorable dogs!
- "A classic OC-style rager!"
- A toddler that appears and disappears at convenient plot intervals!
- Surfing dogs! Cowa-doga!
PS remember in that last post, when I asked what audience the Marmaduke branding would attract that wouldn't have already been attracted by a talking dog picture? Old people, that's who. The theater was about 1/4 people without children over the age of 65.
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