The Duke Is Loose

So as you probably gathered, I'm a big fan of crappy movies. For every good, actually good movie I watch, there's five St. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Bands (the movie, mind you, not the album). There's this odd sense of respect I have for them (well, all of them except Sgt. Pepper's). It kind of goes beyond watching them ironically back to actually enjoying them.

All this is to set up the fact that my friends and I are going opening night to see Marmaduke. And by "see," I mean we've been leaving goofy messages to each other online and are having a big party beforehand. We're all like-minded and pumped because this movie really looks like the crap of the crop. (1) George Lopez automatically bumps any movie into Million Dollar B movie territory (2) They use Ke$ha in the trailer (3) why the fuck do you make a Marmaduke movie 40 years after its peak?

I guess that last question is what's weighing on my mind. Marmaduke's prime, if it had one, was back when shag carpets were fashionable and people actually read newspapers, let alone newspaper comics. Marmaduke didn't talk and certainly didn't have a sassy cat sidekick. The comics aren't even jokes! They're sentences that you assume are jokes because they're in a comic panel! (kind of like Lopez's stand up formula - random statement + I laugh = you laugh)

I've gotta think the Hollywood pitch meeting went something like this: "Yeah guys, we have an AWESOME talking dog movie for the summer with Owen Wilson, but I don't think that can carry it on its own. We need some kind of big name franchising association like Marmaduke. Yeah, that's it, Marmaduke! Nobody's optioned that, right?"

On the other hand, I can see it kind of like V for Vendetta, the scorn of many an internet anarchist. If you filmed it verbatim from the comic, it'd be seven hours long and boring as all hell. Any cinematic ridiculousness is just going to add to the premise.

Anyway, gang, expect a full write up when the Duke is finally loosened upon the earth this weekend.