Kate Gosselin Brings Another Train Wreck to TV

Alright, I watch Dancing with the Stars. I spent seven years of my life doing ballet, so you show me professional dancers & some celebrities I'm interested in & I will watch it.

Every season, there are inevitably one or two celebrities that are terrible, & usually they get the boot pretty quickly. Sure, there have been some who overstayed their welcome, but none as horrible as America's favorite, original octo-mom, Kate Gosselin.

Like I said, I'm a former ballerina, so I know a girl who's just going through the motions when I see her. I get it, Kate, you have eight kids & can't invest the kind of time & dedication to learning a dance, or even really putting in an effort, that others can. But that begs the question: why the hell would you sign up for a dance competition that's known for long, physically exhausting hours to begin with!? Aside from the obvious desire to stay in the tabloids, of course. I'm convinced John & Kate Plus Eight helped ruin her marriage, & I'm also convinced that at this point, she's just trying to play on all of our sympathies, & I'm not buying it anymore. She's the worst dancer on the show right now. She needs to go. The only one deserving of sympathy right now is her poor dance partner.

The one good thing? Jimmy Fallon does a spot-on impression of her "dancing."



For the record, I'm rooting for Evan Lysacek.

Best Fast Food Breakfast: Subway

I am so glad Subway tossed their hats into the breakfast arena again. They have some of the best breakfast sandwiches out there and you have many different options. Oh and they are pretty cheap.

Right now, there's a special on the muffin melts. You get the sandwich and a coffee for $2.50. That's a sweet breakfast. You get the choice of any of the muffin sandwiches and there are 5 or 6 of them and a coffee. Plus your choice of veggies. Mmmm. And the egg can be regular egg or egg white.

And if you are hungrier you can have your breakfast sandwich on a flatbread or sub bread.

Mmm. Nommy!

Now I don't know why the breakfast sandwiches have been getting rather lackluster reviews. The egg, is a hundred times better than that rubber thing, McDonald's slaps on the muffins. None of the meats used are greasy and all the breads are pretty tasty.

I had the Black Forest Ham, Egg and Cheese both mornings this weekend. One day on the flatbread and this morning on the muffin and I have to say, it was better than anything McDonald's serves.

Oh and the coffee is Seattle's Best.

Yum!

If you can't get near a Panera, Subway is the next best place to pick up a quick breakfast!

Fingers Crossed

I was a huge fan of the first Nanny McPhee film. I love Emma Thompson and Colin Firth is just too pretty to not make any film worth watching in my eyes.

I have to admit though that I was surprised when I saw that a sequel of sorts was being made.

This film is called Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang.

Again the film has some lovely eye candy in the form of Ralph Fiennes and Ewan MacGregor.

The film is out in the UK already. I believe it will show up in the US sometime around the 20th of August.

The official site with the trailers can be seen here.

If it is half as good as the first one I will be thrilled.

One from the Vaults: Whiskers

There's a delightful feature with my cable called On-Demand. Most people use it to catch up on TV shows they've missed, not realizing that a delightful treasure trove of crap lies just within their reach. The free movies section is a grandiose collection of 80s horror, 70s exploitation, and simply uncategorizable head scratchers.

Whiskers falls into the last category. It's a Canadian made for TV kids movie about a boy whose cat best friend turns into a creepy man in a hoodie through the power of love and pagan idol worship. On the surface, it's your average talking animal movie, complete with clueless parents and musical numbers. You'll need to dig deeper for its true horrors.

Whiskers tells the tale of an emotionally stunted little boy named Jeb, who is on the fast track to Norman Batesville because he can't connect to people his age and can only talk to his cat Whiskers. In fact, he's pretty darn obsessed with cats in general. His parents, who have already voiced their opinion that their kid is a nutjob, try to tell him - SPOILER ALERT - that he's going to have a little sister. Somehow the kid processes this as "We're going to get rid of Whiskers, chump," and freaks out.

While at a cat museum with his dad, the kid makes a wish on a statue of the Egyptian cat goddess Bastet to turn Whiskers into a Real Boy so he could still be with his BFF. Bastet makes some 90s CGI happen, and the next day, Whiskers is human! Only problem is Whiskers has aged in cat years, so while Jeb was expecting a boy his age, Whiskers has become a 30 year old man in a brown hoodie.

So Whiskers teaches Jeb all the typical kids movie crap - how to have fun, make friends, and confront bullies - and even has a musical interlude with the world's 2nd catchiest white boy jazz song about cats as Whiskers introduces Jeb to his cat homies. Jeb, meanwhile, has to help Whiskers find his mother in a B plot that suddenly appears when the movie should be over.

Brent Carver, the actor playing People Whiskers, won a Tony for Kiss of the Spider Woman, so either he really believes in this project or has some gambling debt to pay. I hope it's the latter, because the former raises some serious eyebrows. Sure, any kids' movie with a person playing an animal is going to be awkward, but unlike Quigley, which had Gary Busey pretending to be a dog by acting like Gary Busey, this awkwardness gets into creepy territory. Whiskers ends up next to Jeb in bed too many times for me to be entirely comfortable with this movie. And unlike the parents in Goobie, who just seemed negligent with their psychotic son's maladies, these parents seem to take some kind of unnatural glee in fucking with their kid's head.

I can't recall as much batshit crazy stuff from this movie as I'd like, and I'm afraid I can't reference you to a place where you can see it. The internet only has faint traces of it - I couldn't even find a poster for it -and Amazon simply knows it exists. I just assumed it was a fever dream until I found screen caps.

This is the epitomy of the crappy sort of programming from On Demand, which is why you need to scope it out. In the words of Cinderella (the metal band, not the kids' movie), you don't know whatcha got til it's go-o-one. I doubt they were talking about Whiskers, but it applies well enough here.

Breast Cancer Awareness

If you are anything like me, you hate stupid emails that make you feel like shit and ask you to forward them to 80 bazillion people in your address book.

I never do it. Unless of course its a super funny email.

This one picture was enough for me to want to share. Plus as a woman that's already had issues in that front, I say hell yeah. Find a cure! Find it now! We've lost too many wonderful women to this disease.

So listen to the baby's t-shirt, would ya!



Oh yeah, and ladies, have your mammograms when your doctor recommends it, be it at 40 or 50. Your life is too precious, and the test IS NOT SCARY or all that painful.

This One's for the Music Junkies

You know how in High Fidelity, they make lists upon lists of basically their top 5 everythings, or how over at Andrea's Music Memoirs meme we make a top 5 every Friday? This is just like that, except in actual journal form.

I give you Music Listography. Your life in playlists. About 70, actually, waiting for you to fill them in. Everything from the things we already have worked out in our brains (top 20 favorite bands) to the typical (a page each for favorites of the 60s, 70s, 80s, & 90s) to things you've never considered before but doing so is fun anyway (songs you'd strip to). Each gets its own page, giving you 20 blank lines to fill with the names of 20 glorious songs. And if you're anything like me, you'll deliberate & get mad because you have way more than 20 favorite songs, & limiting to 20 just isn't fair, damn it!

It's also illustrated. The "Top Favorite Male Vocalists" section, for example, has a delightful drawing of Freddie Mercury & the "Best Soundtracks" list has that lovely bunny from Donnie Darko. When I first got it, I looked at all the pictures & lists in one sitting.

How did I find such a gem? It was my Christmas present from my cousin (she read my blog & I suspect got the idea in part from the aforementioned Top 5). Why am I mentioning it in April? Because after she ordered it, it didn't get here till last month. I've done a list a night - give or take a few nights - ever since. Tonight, I did "List Bands That Should Not Have Broken Up." For tomorrow, I have "List the Music Your Parents Listened to When You Were a Kid" waiting for me.

I love this thing. I love it so much that I occasionally go back & make changes to previous lists, I'll be bummed when I'm done, & I plan on buying one for another music-loving friend. When I die, I expect - nay, demand - whoever plans my funeral to use the "Songs to Play at Your Funeral" list as a guide.

Why Oh Why

I was talking to someone online about classic rock artists and it fired up an old rant of mine dealing with the music industry.

I hate that artists that have been around for more than 10 years get little opportunity to record new music unless they are huge names, like U2, Paul McCartney or Madonna. I admire the lesser known artists that have been around for ages that still want to work on new music.

Tommy James has had new material out in the last 5 years as well as The Buckinghams, two artists that had hits in the 1960s that still enjoy touring and making music for the fans.

Why is it that when you've been around the block a few times, the industry says, no, just stick with the hits. The Moody Blues, a favorite classic band of mine, now has more compilation albums than studio albums. Probably more than the studio and solo albums of its members too.

That is just ridiculous. These guys are still good songwriters. Why can't we get new material by them? Why do we have to content ourselves with remasters and best ofs that have the same 12 songs on them!

Why is it that music must only be for those people in that 18-30 age bracket? I can assure you that many people older than that, myself included, still enjoy music, purchase it, and go to concerts.

Even Elvis Costello is starting to fall victim to this. His back catalog has been remastered more times than I can count and the most recent remastering happened only a matter of months after Rhino Records finished a spectacular remaster on his entire back catalog. Now he's releasing a serious of live shows on CD. Ho hum!

Any day now I expect to see them degrading themselves by being a mentor on American Idol. I won't even go into the horror I felt when Peter Noone of Herman's Hermits succumbed to that show. Grrr.

I want my classic artists to get some respect and recording time damn it!

Album Review: Earl J. Rivard - Underground Railroad

If you break out of your comfort zone once this year to listen to a new artist, let that new artist be Earl. J. Rivard. It will only take one track for him to grab you and pull you into his world. His voice is full of passion. This is a man who could sing the phone book and people would stop and listen.

When you listen to Underground Railroad, you get to experience the full range of his vocal talents. Earl sings songs from many genres—folk, blues, and pop, to name but a few. It is impossible to pick a standout track on Underground Railroad, as each track is so impressive that comparing them somehow seems wrong.

“Lady Sweet Lady” shows Earl singing a Celtic-sounding folk song. The acoustic guitar and flute arrangements on this song are particularly beautiful. When you listen to this song, you’ll feel like you’re listening to a ballad from days of old, when actually the song is one of Earl’s original compositions. In fact, all the songs on Underground Railroad are written by Earl, his father Earl Jr. or the two of them. It doesn’t take long to realize that these two men are excellent songwriters. But songs are nothing without a voice to sing them—and with Earl J. doing the honors, these songs are taken to a whole new level of beauty.

Earl’s voice is so deep and soulful that it is hard not to be moved by it, especially when he’s singing songs of love. “Yours Eternally” has a vocal that is reminiscent of Josh Groban. Earl’s voice soars as he conveys the song’s romantic message.

Turning the tables is “Sometimes Love,” a song that deals with the cooling embers of love that once burned brightly. The lyrics are a haunting reflection of how delicate love is, and how easily it can be shattered and broken if not tended to properly. When Earl sings, “Lovers need to understand, that to keep the love they’ve planned, they must learn the raging blaze to tame. For a fire can cool within the hearth or blow up in a burst of sparks,” that delicacy becomes apparent.

One of the strongest songs on the album is the title track, “Underground Railroad.” Written by Earl Jr and Earl J. Rivard III, the song is about laws that separate a child from their mother because if born in the United States, they are citizens but their mothers are not and are often sent back to their native lands, while their children can remain. The song manages to convey all the right emotions: anger, disgust, sadness. It starts with a preface that may offend some listeners, but the truth really shouldn’t offend.

The bluesy rocker “This Time Around” shows a more playful side to Earl’s music. This song has an infectious beat that calls out to everyone to get up and move. It is the least serious of the thirteen tracks that make up Underground Railroad, and it really showcases Earl’s versatility as a songwriter as well as a performer.

When you listen to “Unfinished Songs,” you instantly feel like you’re listening to a lighthearted pop tune, but give it another listen, and really listen. When you do, you’ll hear a song about the struggles of having something to say, but not being able to find the voice or words to complete the thought. The song is made even more poignant when you reach the abrupt ending.

With Underground Railroad, the world can see the many facets of Earl’s talent. You will hear the voice that will instantly capture your heart with its power and emotion. You’ll discover the songwriting ability that will impress even the harshest critics. This is one voice and one album that must be heard!

Visit Earl's website here to learn more and to watch for information on the release of Underground Railroad.

Austin's Ice Cream: Ceredo, WV

Certainly not meaning to echo the sentiments of the abstinence-only crowd, but sometimes it really does make things better when you have to wait for them. Sure, there's all kinds of not-quite-ice-cream fast food joints in town that are open year round, but only one is worth waiting six month for, and that's Austin's.

Austin's Homemade Ice Cream is a little roadside stand tucked away in the corner of the interstate - drive fast and you'll totally miss it (and get pulled over, as the speed limit is 25). The first thing you'll probably notice is a line of cars crammed into spaces that almost look like a parking lot.

Austin's hand churns all of their flavors on site and features about 30 season-long with a few month-long seasonal flavors. They have your typical ice cream varieties - vanilla, strawberry, rocky road - but also get creative with flavors like grape pineapple, amaretto crunch, and bubblegum. They also sell hotdogs with some pretty awesome chili (though if you're going to West Virginia, it's called "hot dog sauce," not chili).

About the only drawback is that they're cash only. I know that's common in bigger cities' roadside stands, but it's kind of an anomaly here. Still, it's a very small inconvenience for some epic ice cream.

TV Review: Good Luck Charlie

Last night saw the premiere of another Disney Channel show. Good Luck Charlie is probably not the greatest show they have, but its definitely one that everyone can sit down and watch.

Remember the TGIF days of ABC? Well this show may not be up to shows like Full House or Family Matters, but its definitely in the ball park with them. Its cute. Its funny. Oh and since its on Disney there's no sexual innuendo spilling over into each and every joke.

It features some actors and actresses that you will have seen before on Disney, like Bridgit Medler who plays Teddy Duncan. She was the vampire on Witches Of Waverly Place. Jason Dolley who plays big brother PJ was in the Disney TV movie, Hatching Pete.

Its only downfall is that Bridgit sings its theme song, which means that sometime in the grand scheme of the Disney mind-control, Bridgit will have an album. After all, we can't have a Disney show anymore that doesn't feature a star that is also Radio Disney friendly. Perish the thought!

That said, for the time being, Disney has managed to pull off a show that's funny without being too sickeningly sweet, like Full House was in its day. Oh and did I mention its on Sunday nights? The veritable wasteland time for TV, so it is in fact one of the only "good" things on.

Doctor Who: The Eleventh Doctor

Matt Smith is not David Tennant. He's not drop dead gorgeous. He's not crazy assed emo and he's not wearing a pin stripe suit.

All that aside, Matt Smith "IS" the Doctor. He stepped into the role that David Tennant exited in January with ease. He still has a quirky sense of humor and he still has an affinity for female companions it seems, but from the looks of it, Amy Pond, probably isn't going to be humping his leg right away in this series.

I won't give any spoilers to "The Eleventh Hour." You'll just have to watch, but I will say, Stephen Moffat has given the show new life. He's taken the "emo" out of the show and for that, I applaud. 10 wasted a season with an awesome companion being whiny about Rose Tyler. I'm glad that Rose is sufficiently gone. I hope that Amy stays with him throughout his tenure as the doctor, as did many of the companions in the "Classic" series.

Karen Gillian, who appeared in The Fires Of Pompeii, is a great companion. She's not besotted with "The Doctor," at least not yet, and hopefully not ever. She's actually a bit annoyed with him at times and that makes for some good laughs. Her boyfriend Rory Williams was a bit amusing and I'm sure will be used in a few episodes, much like Mickey was with "Rose".

All in all, I was pleasantly surprised at how well all the new actors fit into the show, but then again, The Doctor is a chameleon. Yes, David Tennant, is my doctor, but Matt Smith is now "the" doctor, and I think he's going to do a damn good job in the part.

Do You Think You're What They Say You Are?

Because its Good Friday.



Carl Anderson was probably the best voice of Judas Iscariot. The world is truly much emptier without his wonderful voice.

And then....my favorite song from the musical and I dedicate this post to the Catholic Church.

Where Did The Happy Go In Music?

I listen to a lot of oldies. My radio dial is set to 99.3 Classic Hits The Pickle much more than it should be. I like the innocence that comes from the music of the 60s and 70s. Sure there were angry protest songs then, but the pop music was so much simpler and sweeter then.

Listening to The Beatles and The Monkees, Gordon Lightfoot or Three Dog Night never left me feeling glum or angry.

I'm not saying there's no happy music out there, because there is. That's why Erasure and Mika will forever be favorites of mine. Their music will always bring a smile to my face.

But as I was listening to the radio this morning I heard C'mon Get Happy. I mean, that song is sweetness personified and it really shows that even in an era that was less then stellar that there was some innocence left. Is it all gone?

There's more maturity in the music from the prefabricated pop-tarts that Disney tosses out then ever before.

Why do songs have to be about all the horrible things in the world, or why people are treating other people badly? Couldn't we remind ourselves of some of the good things out there? Life isn't really that bad!

Maybe I'm just a Daydream Believer...

Why Chuck Is The Greatest

I'm one of those crazy Chuck fans. I adore this show and put all other things aside to watch it. How I Met Your Mother and any other show following it, good or otherwise has to be DVR'd because Chuck is "THE" show for Monday night @ 8 for me.

Why?

Chuck is one of those few shows in the genre "dramady". You know, part drama, part comedy and they do it with class. They have characters that you can really love, plus relationships that make sense even if their situations aren't. How can you not love, Elly and Awesome, Morgan, crazy Jeff and all the other Buy More guys? Oh and Casey. Adam Baldwin = Love!

You have to love Sarah, and right now I'm sure just about every Chuck fans wishes that Chuck would have let Shaw blow up in that warehouse, even if Sarah has feelings for him. Heck, I even loved Hannah, and I wish they wouldn't have written her out so quickly.

This show keeps you on the edge of you seat, makes you laugh and has you hoping it will not end any time soon.

I've been a viewer since mid-season 1 and I hope that it gets picked up again. Chuck is too good of a show to get tossed aside because they've given him the lousyest time slot ever.

All that said, GO WATCH CHUCK!

Movie review: Hot Tub Time Machine

Goodness knows I love a good time travel movie more than the average person. Time travel is in my top ten list of uncategorized Totally Awesome Things. But truth be told, I didn't have high hopes for this movie based on the trailer. My husband had been pumped for weeks, but I was going into the theater with pretty low expectations. Maybe because of that, I had a great time with Hot Tub Time Machine.

Much like 2006's Snakes on a Plane, the title pretty much sums up the plot. Adam (John Cussack), his friend Nick (Craig Robinson), and his nephew take their mutual loveable asshole friend Lou (Daily Show's Rob Corddry) to the ski lodge where they ruled as teenagers after Lou's questionable suicide attempt. The ski lodge has went downhill since the guys last stayed there, and they're ready to call the weekend a waste when they get drunk in a magical hot tub that transports them to the 80s.

It's the little details that make this movie great. All the 80s place-settings, from the fashion to the Rambo-obsessed too-Aryan-for-comfort ski patrol jerk, were spot-on. The minor characters were great, too. Crispin Glover rocked as the soon-to-be one-armed bell hop, and Chevy Chase was perfect for the hot tub repairman celestial guide.

Some of the humor I don't dig that made me worry about the movie initially were there, but the frat boy jokes, gross out sight gags, and icky sex humor (not to be confused with "funny sex humor", which is something I can go for) were sparse enough for me to give the movie a pass. Most of the movie's humor was goofy, lighthearted fun, like Nick pulling a Marty McFly with his old band that was even better than Back to the Future's. And honestly? Even the type of humor I usually hate was 70% funny in this movie. Normally puking on woodland creatures is where I'd tune out, but it delivered a hilarious surprise gag in the middle of the flick.

If you're a pop culture junkie like me and had reservations about the movie, give it a shot. I could see it being a polarizing experience, but chances are you might be delightfully surprised. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this is going to be a DVD purchase in the Bandit household in a few months.

Final Verdict: 7/10

Tubesday Top 3: Chat Roulette

Happy Tubesday! This edition focuses solely on Chat Roulette. For the uninitiated, Chat Roulette is a video chat site that connects you to a random person. As you can imagine, there is much wankery involved (some subset of Rule 34 is that everything on the internet eventually turns into porn). However, a few people are choosing to get creative with it.

Case study Merton. Inspired by Ben Folds' on-the-spot concert improvs, he set his laptop next to his piano and went to work (NSFW language):



There was much speculation as to who Merton really was, some even spreading the rumor it was Ben in disguise. Ben, not to be outdone on his own game, had to make his own version (NSFW language, as it's Ben Folds):



And full circle, Merton's newest video (once more, NSFW language):



Happy Tubesday, Wenches!

An Open Letter To John McCain

Dear Senator McCain,

I'd like to personally thank you for unleashing the most obnoxious woman on the planet to the American public. Sarah Palin is the biggest wingnut ever to walk the earth, and thanks to you, she will probably never get out of the public eye. She won't stop until she gets the Republican nomination for president in 2012, and considering we are a nation of idiots, she will probably get it.

Again thank you very much. I need to have that kind of fear in my life. That woman has to be the biggest idiot ever to hold such a high position in government, barring our last president, and I'm not quite sure if she's not stupider then W. At least he is smart enough to slink off into the shadows after his presidency ended. Sarah Palin will never go away. She's like a plague, released by you on an unsuspecting and way too trusting nation.

Thank you for that. We really needed that.

I have been a democrat since 1992, but I have always felt that I could vote cross the party lines when I felt there was a deserving candidate, but with all the fuss about Health Care Reform and an idea that republicans thought of, being denounced by REPUBLICANS and this freak that you unleashed on the public, I fear I will never do anything but vote straight democrat.

Thanks for nothing!

Sincerely,

A disgruntled American

God Save Me From Dieters

I hate listening to people that want to lose weight talk. I hate listening to the gov't telling us how many calories are in our food. Now before you are appalled at that, I'm all for full disclosure of calorie content, but I hate all the hullabaloo that's going with it.

Really? You didn't guess that the triple bacon cheeseburger had about twice the calorie content a normal person should consume in a day? Really? Sometimes I think just looking at the food should give you an idea.

Take The Cheesecake Factory. OMG the food there is so damn good, but it will also make you fat and possibly give you a coronary. There is next to nothing on the menu that sinks below 1000 calories!

Yikes!

But if I'm told someone is taking me out to The Cheesecake Factory, I'm not going to cry and whine and say that I can't go. I'm not passing up such good noms!

But what really gets me about dieters and people that try to shove health conscious eating down our throats is how they seem to think their low calorie concoctions taste good.

Take your egg beaters and splenda and shove them up your butt.

I want food that tastes good. Find some other ways of taking the calories and fat out of my food. I like sugar and I like eggs.

Actually, sometimes I wish the whole support chain, that dieters cling to would evaporate. I know when you are trying to lose you need all the help you can get, but when it takes over your entire life it makes those around you MISERABLE!

On that note...I'm going to eat something fattening.

Dancing With The Stars

I admit that every so often I tune into this show for a few minutes, usually right before Castle comes on.

I think of all the reality based competition type shows, this one is the most tolerable, but I think the contestants make the whole thing a bit ridiculous. I'd love to see them assemble a cast of contestants that really had to work for it. I mean there's always the token older person, be it Cloris or Buzz, but then you get some celebrities that actually have some dancing experience.

Plus how can you judge a man or woman in their late 70s or early 80s against men or women in the 20s and 30s?

It doesn't make sense?

Yes, it makes for more interesting viewing, but its hardly fair.

I usually find myself cheering on the underdog. I was actually so surprised when Donnie Osmond won, but I guess a lot of their audience are made up of women in their 40s that grew up with crushes on Donnie, so Yay!

I just wish that all the shows like this would just go away. I want real tv, with real acting, or something close to it and seriously right now TV is crap, since the USA shows are going into hiatus and the new crop aren't starting until next week.

BAH!

CD Review: Robin & The Giant - Winds Of Change

Robin And The Giant are the perfect band for the family. Their album, Winds Of Change, is a compilation of songs from their past recordings and is a great introduction to the band. After hearing these twenty-one songs, it’s easy to believe that they have an appeal that stretches across all ages.

The duo of Robin MacBlane (Robin) and Larry Whitler (The Giant) have been performing together since 1987, amassing a string of albums together prior to this compilation’s release. Larry has released several albums as a solo artist, as well as those with Robin.

The songs are very reminiscent of Peter, Paul and Mary. They have a very folksy feel and a certain childlike innocence, which is why these songs can really cross the ages. Robin and the Giant don’t sing down at children. They just sing simple, pretty, and often funny folk songs that both young and old can enjoy.

The lightly-reggae-tinged “In The Caribbean” tells a story of falling in love in Jamaica. The song has a slow beat and vocals that conjure up images of white-sand beaches and crystal-clear water. It also has a little bit of light humor that keeps the song from crossing over into a more grown-up sound.

If it’s smiles you are looking for, Robin And The Giant will deliver those to your ears with songs like “A Hamster Poops” and “Doggy Dog World.” Little ones will particularly love “A Hamster Poops.” What child would not break into a grin when someone sings about poop?

There’s a lot of hope to be found in “Aim High, Sweetie Pie.” This is a song that reminds us that our dreams are always within our reach, as Larry eloquently sings -- “And every day they could see those dreams grow. With a vow they would never let go. It’s a great big world, and an even bigger sky, so aim high sweetie pie.” The heroine in this song never forgets that, and she helps those around her achieve their dreams, too. Would that all people could be that way.

The songs aren’t all light fare, though. The song “Mr. Freeman’s Roses” is just a bit on the sad side. The song is about an elderly woman who is living in an assisted living facility, with, as the song says, “lots of grandmas doing lots of grandma things.” Perhaps a child won’t pick up as quickly on the melancholy subject matter of the song, but all the grown-up listeners will. The song is particularly bittersweet for anyone that knows someone who has had to move from their home for health reasons. The song paints a lovely picture of an older woman who loved her garden and loved her husband who passed away.

“Heloise O’Lantern” is another tune that isn’t all too happy. Heloise is Jack O’Lantern’s sister, whom nobody knows because she sits in the middle of the cornucopia on Thanksgiving. But, on a happier note, she’s content to let her brother Jack shine. This is probably the most memorable holiday tune that most people will be fortunate enough to hear.

Robin And The Giant create beautiful folk music for the family. Winds Of Change is a wonderful compilation to introduce you to their music. No matter what your age, one of these songs will touch your heart and possibly even open your mind.

Moviegasm! ...and MovieUlcer (aka Fuck Kristen Stewart)

So for the first time in awhile, I'm excited for a slew of movies coming out soon, and I even have a backlog at this point! I still haven't seen Shutter Island, mostly because of the god-awful winter that seems to finally be on its death rattle. I'm also super pumped for Kick-Ass. There's also a couple of budget-busters like Iron Man 2 and Toy Story 3.

But on the flipside of that, there's also one movie I'm dreading, and that's the Runaways biopic. Like any good former punk rocker, I've had a shrine to Joan Jett since I was old enough to pick up a bass and shoplift nail polish. Goodness knows that I've set the bar pretty high on that role, so nobody would be perfect.

Nobody would be perfect, but you know who would be my absolute last choice? Kristen fucking Stewart. While I'm far from a fan of the series, I don't take the malevolent glee that some folks do in hating Twilight. It wouldn't be a blip on my radar, to be honest, if it weren't for her. But God help me if that women isn't like nails on a chalk board to me. Just thinking about her makes me grit my teeth (yes, even as I'm writing this sentence!)

Her laugh. Her walk. Her making fun of her own fans. Her "are they or aren't they" tabloid bullshit with Sparkly McDracula, which has to be the most boring whitebread speculated fake couple ever. Her way of trying to make terribly mundane things sound important in interviews (direct quote: "I do want to work on writing, because writing's a skill.") Throw in a few dumb-ass personal reasons, and the girl is my Kryptonite. I'll be watching a perfectly nice and mindless news entertainment show, and suddenly she'll show up and ruin it.

So fuck it if I wasn't almost in tears when I first found out she'd been picked for Joan Jett. A movie I was a little iffy about sudden became a nerve-racking yet necessary upcoming movie release that feels like a cross between an unpleasant family reunion and emergency dental surgery.

Trust me, I'm still going to watch that movie. But aslkjfkdlofsdf if I'm not going to stab some shit first.

(and yes, I did try to follow my own advice. About my only think to latch onto is that she might turn a new generation of girls onto Joan Jett, which Joan Jett could've done just fine on her own, but if that happens, then I'll tone my fury down from "stabbing shit" to "furious eye darts." )

Facebook Is Full Of Hatred

I love Facebook for all the time wasters it brings to me. I openly admit that the only reason I'm on that site is for the games. I have Farms, Fishbowls, Pets, Cafes. It keeps my stress levels down for a certain period of time, but what I really hate are the groups.

I don't know about you, but every day I see more and more that are focused on hatred and bigotry. I am sad to say that certain members of my family belong to some of them. I also don't enjoy seeing ads that are politically derogatory.

I don't like Republicans, but I don't think we need groups designed to spout of hatred of them, and I don't find groups that spout of hatred of Democrats to be needed as well. Surely we can voice our opinions, but do we need a collective group to prove how narrowminded we are?

Each day I become more and more ashamed of the human race when I see these things. How can we have survived this long fueled only on hatred? Its a sad, sorry shame. Its also a bigger shame that our two political parties can't work together to do anything for the common good that will be lasting.

What I find even more distressing is how a social networking site that should be utilized for fun and connections can be full of such ugliness.

The Best Salad I've Ever Ate

I'm a huge fan of the Panera Bread Chain. I could eat there every day and I would be perfectly happy. They have fantastic sandwiches, soups, salads and pastries. I have to say, that I've never had anything there that I didn't enjoy immensely.

Today I tried the BBQ Chicken Salad. It received rave reviews on a recent newscast for being tasty and low calorie.

I am here to report that they didn't lie. This is one fantastic salad. The chicken is wonderful and it has tortilla strips, black beans and corn and a fantastic bbq sauce. If you get it with a You Pick Two combo, I have to recommend the Creamy Chicken and Wild Rice soup or the Baked Potato soup.

But no matter what you get, its going to be good, but I don't think I've had a salad this good, since they had the Fandango Salad that had mandarin oranges, feta cheese and raspberry vinaigrette.

Its good stuff, and its actually good for you.

Amazing.

And amazingly tasty.

La Fiesta: Charleroi, PA

In my little town of Charleroi, PA there sits an old Pizza Hut building. Thankfully it was bought by something other than a group of doctors. Its actually owned by a Mexican family and they serve up some really great authentic Mexican food.

Note that I said "authentic". So if you are hoping to get anything that resembles the menu at Chi-chi's, think again. What you are going to get is some fantastic dishes that really make you wonder why you loved Chi-chi's in the first place.

This past visit I decided to be daring and have the vegetable burrito. I thought that possibility meant your basic bean burrito, but no, this bad boy was filled with broccoli and carrots and peppers and onions and oh was it so good.

The refried beans are wonderfully creamy and topped with that special cheese that you seem to only be able to get at Mexican restaurants.

One of the best things about the restaurant is its salsa. Its just hot enough to wake up your mouth, but not too hot and their chips definitely don't come out of a bag.

As a Mon Valley resident, I've been to La Fiesta many times and I can tell you that you won't lack for choices on the menu. There are several combo meals for dinner all priced reasonably and some great chef's specialties, my favorite being chiliquas mexicanos (sp)

Its definitely a place you want to check out if you are driving through Charleroi.

I Know This Was Mentioned Before, But...

...I have to say, Ted Neeley is still totally rocking it as Jesus on the Jesus Christ Superstar national tour.

True, he's technically too old for the part - twice the age that Jesus actually was when he died - and his age shows in his voice & appearance, but he can still hit those high notes like no one else.

That said, even though he's the main attraction when the show is advertised, the cast of this tour is amazing. I've seen my fair share of touring productions, & this is probably the best I've seen, rivaled only by when Anthony Rapp & Adam Pascal came through on the Rent tour last spring. The catch is a few of them are making their national debuts on this tour, a fact I simply couldn't believe. No way were people this talented & entertaining to watch so new. But it's true. And naturally, the veterans are fantastic as well.

This cast is seriously superb, so if you've ever considering catching this show live, just do it. We made it a family affair - my parents, brother, aunt, uncle, & two of my cousins, & even though it was over a week ago now me, my brother, & at least one cousin can't stop talking about it. We were collectively blown away, & my brother & I have seen this on stage before, so that's saying something.

I'd have to say that Benjamin Van Diepen as Pilate, in a relatively small role, considering, was one of the stand-out performers. The intensity he put into the role was obvious. Same with John Twiford as Judas - he actually managed to do something a little different with the role, which isn't easy considering how many times it's been done & how well-known the whole story is. What stands out the most is that during Judas' death scene, Twiford was screaming his lines as if you were actually watching Judas just completely lose his mind. And it was fantastic.

I've never seen a show move an audience like this. All the ladies in my group cried, & initially at the end the entire theater was silent. When the applause did start, people were jumping out of their seats for a standing ovation within seconds. It's an experience my cousins summed up well, respectively: one said she felt emotionally drained, the other said Ted Neeley should've crowd surfed at the end. There you go.

Well, that & the exchange I overheard between a man & who I assume to be his granddaughter. He said to her, "They call this the greatest story ever told. They've been telling it for 2000 years."

Plus other Andrew Lloyd Webber-related news isn't so great. Apparently, Love Never Dies butchers everything sacred about The Phantom of the Opera (which is also rolling through Pittsburgh this summer). Might as well cling to the classics while we've got 'em.

Movie Review: Alice In Wonderland

Well, Tim Burton has done it again! He's created a movie that wows the senses with color and creepyness. He also assembles an awesome cast.

There was really no way that I couldn't like this film. It has everything in it that I adore in movies: Johnny Depp, Tim Burton directing, Danny Elfman doing the score, and some pretty awesome visual effects.

But I really can't stop raving about the cast, even Anne Hathaway as the White Queen came across beautifully. I certainly have my favorites in the cast, Depp's Hatter, was delightfully mad and Matt Lucas, of Little Britain fame, as Tweedledee and Tweedledum, couldn't be any better, but most impressive is Mia Wasikowska as Alice. She was far from what I expected Alice to be, but as Alice is being portrayed as much older than she was in either of Lewis Carroll's books, she is more than suitable.

I can usually find something to nitpick in any film, but with this one I'm hard pressed to do so. I wasn't a fan of the books, so I can't be a judge of how well the film interprets the stories. My one bone of contention with Burton is his use of his women in his films, but Helena Bonham Carter was so brilliantly evil as the Red Queen that I couldn't find fault with her.

This was one movie that was worth seeing at full price in the theaters, and I have to say, when it makes it to the Maxi-Saver I may just go see it again.

Sickie Andrea

On Sunday they had a cute sketch on Sonny With A Chance on Disney.

Shut Up! I like that show!

It had Demi Lovato's character playing a tween talking about fun stuff you can do when you are sick.

Considering that I've been part of the walking wounded for the last 6 days, I have to say, Sickie Vicki is full of it.

Sickie Andrea says that there is absolutely nothing you can do when you are sick, except pull the covers over your head and wish away the hours and everyone that won't shut their damn mouths.

I'm just now starting to feel like one of the living and I can tell you that whatever bug is going around Southwestern PA is not fun. My head throbbed, I had a fever and I'm still coughing up a lung. Oh and my sense of taste still hasn't come back. That's good for the wasteline, but damn it, I would like to enjoy a meal again soon.

So whatever anyone tells you, being sick isn't fun.

Now pass the tylenol.

The Psych Season Finale

USA Networks rule!

That said, the writers of Psych should be ashamed of the season finale of this fabulous show. They were close to having a perfect season too, and they dropped the ball with the last episode.

How wrong is that?

I won't give out many spoilers except to say, rehashing plots from other finale's is really lame and the cast, all of which rock, in my estimation deserved a better show to go off on hiatus with.

Boo to you, Psych writers. Boo to you!

They definitely could have done better.

I only hope that next season they try to work the Shawn/Jules ship or at least the Jules/Lassiter ship that has been floating around in ever viewers head from the start.

I'd actually be more excited about a Jules/Lassiter ship because it would be so odd and it would really rile Shawn up.

That said, the finale of this show was really disappointing.

The Rock N' Roll Hall Of Fame Is A Joke

Each year I get angrier and angrier at who gets inducted into the Hall Of Fame. When they included Madonna, I truly threw my hands up in disgust. Madonna has nothing to do with Rock N' Roll. She's dance music. There's nothing rock n' roll about her.

And every year the committee that decides who gets in neglects influential artists. I mean, The Moody Blues aren't in there. I'm not bitching about that, just because they are a musical favorite of mine, but because they still put on a great show and their music has touched people for more than 40 years. That in itself is worthy of a nod in my book.

The other thing that gets me are the people that petition to have people put in the Hall Of Fame. Don't they know that's a sure fire way to make sure they never get in? Every year I hear idiots trying to get the Monkees in. I don't really believe they belong there, but if a band like New Kids On The Block gets in in the next few years, then I say, The Monkees should be in there too.

I would love to know what goes through the minds of the people that decide who should be nominated and who should get in. I also wonder how much crack they smoke and why they don't ever share it.

I also wonder at why people should be inducted twice, like The Beatles and then each member seperately for their solo work. I don't think all of the band is in the HOF with their solo careeers, and that's a shame, becuase even though The Beatles weren't as crazy awesome when taken out of the band, each member made some really great music over the years, and that includes Ringo. Also, Elvis Costello is in with the Attractions but not solo, uh? Erm!

I think I find this as annoying as I do awards shows, but at least when the induction ceremony is on, there's usually some awesome music involved. Sometimes.

Why Awards Shows Don't Interest Me

The Emmy's, The Oscar's, The Grammy Awards, The Tonys I hate them all.

Why?

I don't believe anyone ever gets a real fair deal on these things. Plus I have no desire what so ever to see starlets parade around in gowns that cost more than what I make in a year.

Oh and speeches make me want to vomit.

I understand awarding excellence in a field, but who is to judge.

Its kind of like the Rita Awards in Romance novels.

Yes, there is an award for romance writers.

And who decides which novels are worth a Rita? Other authors. Uh, that just doesn't seem right to me.

The thing about all of these awards shows, is public opinion isn't taken into consideration. Its an elite board of asshats that like posh things or just things that "Joe The Plumber" or "Josephine The Plumber" (cos fuck all, women can do anything) don't give a damn about. Granted I think that the general public has questionable taste, because these are the people that run out and see Twilight and also think the books are the greatest thing since sliced bread, but I truly believe the Box Office should play a certain part in what is nominated.

Oh and truly, Sandra Bullock as best actress over Meryl Streep? PUHLEESE! I appreciate the fact that The Blind Side was a moving story, but Meryl became Julia Child in that film.

Oh and I stand by my rant about Love Never Dies, if that show ends up with a nomination or perish the though, a win for either a Tony or the UK equivalent, I wash my hands of all awards shows entirely.

DiCarlo's Pizza: Wheeling, WV

After spending the evening surrounded by the smells of stadium food (and a pretty epic looking hot dog condiments bar) at the Wheeling Nailers game, the husband and I were pretty hungry. We decided to walk down the block to a pizza place called DiCarlo's.


The place was jammed packed before the game, so we figured it was pretty popular. I was a little confused as to why the tables had random sprinkles of cheese until I read the menu: Only DiCarlo's initially flash-bakes its crust and sauce in a special brick oven, and when the steaming crust emerges, it is adorned with cold creamy provolone cheese, making the taste indescribable!

Cold cheese? WTF? I was starting to get a little nervous.

All the nervousness flew out the window when we were actually handed our pizza. The cheese was melty without being greasy like most pizzas, and the crust was sweet and crunchy. I'm not sure exactly what constitutes "flash-baking," but it definitely made a difference.

I can't say it was the best pizza I've ever had - that honor goes to Villa Italia in the blink-and-you'll-miss-it town of Plattekill, NY. But it was good. Pretty damn good, in fact, and an interesting take on the standard pizza formula.

Hockey Night!

Today I'm tapping into a subject that doesn't get touched upon a lot here, and that's sports. Granted, I'm an idiot when it comes to most sports, gaining minuscule bits of insight on various cameraman gigs. But I'm an absolute hockey rat. I'm not the only Wench either that's a hockey fan, either, as it seems. So indulge me a bit as I go on a sports tangent.

As a young lass I won tickets from a newspaper contest to the local ECHL team the Huntington Blizzard. From that moment on, I was a hockey fan. I went to at least two games a season for several years before the team folded in 2000.

Anyway, last weekend I went on a hockey weekend roadtrip to catch the Wheeling Nailers. It's the first live hockey game I've seen this century. I definitely rooted and rallied for the Nailers when they were under financial difficulty a few years ago. And I have to cheer for them, since they're the only semi-pro team in the state now. But I can't totally get behind them, and here's why:

1) They were one of the Blizzard's rivals back in the day
2) They're the ECHL affiliate of the Penns, and I'm Red Wings all the way (sorry Janelle)
3) Their theme song on the ice is "Machinehead" by Bush? Really? Lame.

Anyway, Saturday's game wasn't that epic, with the Trenton Devils winning 6-3 and scoring the last goal of the night with the Nailers' goalie nowhere in sight. It seems like the main strategy of the night was "shoot the puck through the air to the opposite side of the rink or into the crowd," work worked out for at least three super pumped wee hockey fans in the crowd (free souvenirs!) Still, during the second period, it was pretty close and exciting. And Trenton had a hell of a goalie, so the odds were tipped in their favor before the game even began.

In addition to being the obnoxious Wings fan, I'm also the obnoxious fight fan. I fondly remember some epic fights from the Blizzard's heyday, one of which resulted in a ten-minute time gap when every single player was pulled off the ice, and about five from each team were thrown in the penalty box (including one of the goalies). The Nailers weren't as fight-happy as the Blizz; they had a few "roughing" calls but no gloves-off, bloody-nosed honest-to-blog fights. They did seem to have a pretty sweet spitfire in #23 Mitch Ganzak, who seemed to spend more time in the penalty box than on the ice.

At any rate, the trip and the game really renewed my love of hockey. Plus, Wheeling was a rad city, and I'll talk about it a little bit later. And did I mention how nice the people that work at the Nailer's office are? We had to reschedule the original trip because of an epic snowstorm, and they were pretty easy going about it. Definitely going to make it a repeat experience.

Breaking the Oscar Glass Ceiling

I have a couple of posts lined up for this week about my weekend trip to Wheeling, but I definitely have to push those aside to talk about last night's Oscar show. Being both a film geek and an awards show junkie, the Oscars are my Super Bowl. In most situations, I'd have a nice, snarkly little recap of all the weird camera angles and WTF speak moments.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the Oscars this year, and Kathryn Bigalow became the first woman in the 82 years of the Academy to win Best Director and Best Picture. Only three other women had been nominated for the director category (Lina Wertmüller in '76, Jane Champion in '93, and Sophia Coppola in '03.) Less than 10% of the top 250 high-grossing films in the US are directed by women any given year, and while that means there's still a long way to go, last night was some pretty heavy progress.

I've mentioned this before here, but the statistics don't get much better in indieland. Without going into pity party territory, it can be tough when you're the only woman on your crew or your immediate peer group. People can take you less seriously, or the other extreme, you become "the" women voice in the scene. Either scenario isn't too pretty.

What pisses me off about Bigalow's Oscar win is some of the media coverage. I've heard/read three times today about how much of a shock that a women won who didn't direct a "woman's" movie. The Today show was basically falling over themselves with "OMG, a woman directed a WAR movie?!?!?" Granted, the Today Show isn't exactly a hotbed of journalistic integrity and professionalism, but still, you'd think that the program that launched several female journalists' careers would be a little less 1950s about it.

It's not exactly a ground-breaking thought that women write in all genres. And hey, maybe the reason that the bulk of the woman-directed top 250 grossing flicks are fluff is because producers and the media hammer it into everyone's heads that a lady will fail unless the project is Nora Ephronville. Now I dig some of Ephron's movies, but not every woman wants to tell that type of story. Women are into war, into horror, into porn, into every single niche style of filmmaking that exists. Ovaries don't override your ability to handle a camera and Final Cut.

I'm hoping that this win is going to open the big studios up a little more to the idea of a woman directing something other than boy-meets-girl or talking animal movies. I know the papers are going to declare this "The Year of the Woman!!!" just like when Diablo Cody got buzz for Juno. Here's hoping it's a little more substantial than that.

Love Never Dies

I can't seem to stop talking about the music for this show. For those of you that don't know, Love Never Dies is the sequel to the "musical" The Phantom Of The Opera, something that should not ever have been allowed in my eyes, but I really wanted to give the music from the show a chance, as Andrew Lloyd Webber usually does deliver.

However, that's really not the case here and its a shame because the two leads have beautiful voices, but sadly the lack of a cohesive and interesting storyline seem to weigh down the positives. Most of ALW's shows have several songs that stand out and that goes from Joseph through Aspects Of Love. This show only has two; Til I Hear You Sing and Love Never Dies.

To even try to appreciate this show you should try to ignore the book written by Gaston Leroux many many years ago, because Sir Andrew tramps all over that and tosses the scraps into the fire.

The show takes place around 1907 in Coney Island. That is the first WTF! The Phantom relocated there as part of a freak show, but his brilliant mind allows him to obtain a position of power and he invites Christine to sing @ the park. She is unaware of who has invited her so she arrives with husband Raoul and son Gustav.

Ramin Karimloo is wonderful as the Phantom. His voice is just as stunning as Michael Crawford's was back in the 80s. Sierra Bogguss is also marvelous in the role of Christien Daae. The problem isn't the singers. Its the songs and the fact the story goes where it shouldn't have gone, and that's the events that happen after the curtain fell on The Phantom Of The Opera.

Still, the show has its moments. One is the Phantom's Til I Hear You Sing.




I imagine if the show comes through Pittsburgh at some time, I'd go to see it, but I feel I'd be disappointed. The thing is, it seems like such a train wreck that I'd have to watch in total disbelief.

The only good thing is that the world will come to know Ramin's voice a bit better, and that's not a bad thing at all.

Redd Dawg's All Star Clubhouse: Belle Vernon, PA

If you are ever driving along I-70 in the Belle Vernon area and you get hungry for some good old fashioned sandwich type food. Get off at the exit marked Fayette City and head to the Walmart. In the strip mall between Walmart and Lowe's you'll find an awesome little sports bar, called Redd Dawg's.

There are several reasons why you should stop there.

1. The sandwiches are to die for and the menu has two pages of them. I highly recommend the Bavarian Reuban and the Sicilian Grinder, but I've had several sandwiches there and they are all nommy. The french fries are much better than they used to be now that they are thick cut, but if you can get the sweet potato fries. Those, my friend, are to die for.

2. The appetizers will kill you. In fact there's one called the Coronary. Its fried goodness, which will cause your arteries to close up, but at least you will die with your belly full and with a smile on your face.

3. Salads and Entrees are great, ribs and pastas are fantastic.

4. The mix an awesome drink. One of my recommendations is the Pineapple Upside Down which is a fruity concoction, much like the cake. Definitely worth trying.

I will warn you, if you go during football season you will not be able to hear yourself think. Its a sports bar, remember and people go there to drink and watch the game. Still the food is fab, and the service is good. Definitely worth stopping at if you are in the area.

Canceled Already?

Not too long ago, in fact a only about 2 weeks ago, I blogged about an awesome show I discovered on Fox.

Well Fox has canceled Past Life already. After only 3 episodes.

WTF is up with that?

Did no one watch it, beside my family?

This was a good show damn it, and they didn't even give it a chance. Kelsey Grammar's latest show, Hank, aired more episodes and it wasn't all that great. It wasn't horrible but it was cute, but at least it was given half a chance.

3 episodes!

That's insane!

Its also wrong!

Of course they put it on right before American Idol came back and just as Bones was going into hiatus for the next few months, but 3 episodes.

Fox really needs to be ashamed of themselves, AGAIN!

But then again that's pretty obvious, this is the network that employs Sarah Palin, the biggest fucking wingnut on the planet.

All For The Love Of Coffee

When Waldenbooks was still in existence my family had one of their discount cards, mostly because they got it from Cole's which gave senior citizens their card for free. Well now all the major booksellers seem to have them but they cost $25.

You have to buy a lot of books to make that $25 worth spending.

HOWEVER.

All the big Barnes and Noble stores now have Starbucks as part of their cafes. Well that makes spending that $25 a whole lot better. I mean how can I turn down a discount on coffee and books?

The funny thing is, when Starbucks was selling the VIP cards last year, I didn't buy one. So its not just the added discount there that sold me on this expensive discount card. It was the combination of the two or maybe its the fact that I always buy coffee when I'm at Barnes and Noble. It also gives me added incentive to buy a book when I'm in the store, because without that discount Barnes and Noble is entirely too expensive in comparison to most online book retailers, and hey, online book stores don't offer coffee!

It's a small internet, after all

A lot of people operate under the assumption that everything thrown onto the internet happens in some sort of void. Usually this amounts to people being incredible asshats to each other and unleashing horrors that would get them arrested in real life. But it also creates a weird sort of dissonance when you release that there are real people in your audience.

I'm being vague, so let's get a little more example-y. So far in the past two months, I've seen that at least three of the bands or books I've reviewed on various sites have found those reviews and posted them on their own sites. Now, I realize that with Google and RSS feeds, it's pretty easy to be alerted every time your name is mentioned on the web. But that doesn't make me any less surprised that they found the reviews. Surprised, and flattered, and a little freaked out. It's a weird mix of emotions.

It's also weird when the tables turn and you find things about yourself on Google. I have the luck (or curse, depending on the situation) that my maiden name and my married name are the same as two semi-obscure celebrities, enough so that you have to tack on some extra words to actually find information on me. But when people can actually Google me, it's created some situations. Once an old roommate found a blog where I'd ranted about her roomie drama, and it started World War III. On a slightly less butthurt note, a few years ago I discovered that a half-assed paper I wrote my sophomore college year for a class on folklore about misheard lyrics had been posted on a couple academic sites as a reference and one "download a paper for $10" site.

So Wenches, have you ever had an interesting experience where the internet collided with your real life?

Please Let This Show Make It To A Network

I was just reading one of my favorite author's blogs. Stephanie Bond originally started out writing for Harlequin's Love and Laughter line.

Now before you stick your noses up in the air, Stephanie Bond writes more than just romance. She has a series called Body Movers that's more along the lines of Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series, which can not be described as romance, though there's a little more spice to these books than Evanovich's Plum.

The books are based around Carlotta Wren and a seriel killer known as "The Charm Killer." Like the Plum series there's a wacky cast of characters and some guys Carolotta may or may not be too involved with. Sadly there's not a hamster.

Right now all we know is that Sony Pictures Television has optioned the books to hopefully built into a TV Series. Sony Pictures has been responsible for shows like Damages, Community and Rules Of Engagement that just started to air again this week. I would be so happy if this show actually came about and was good.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Some New Music

If you're looking for something new to listen to that's acoustic, awesome, & has killer lines, definitely look into Justin Oliver.

I really don't know how to describe his music. It kind of has a little bit of everything, maybe something for everyone. Sometimes he reminds me of Sufjan Stevens, sometimes he reminds me of Citizen Cope, & sometimes I can't think of a single artist to compare him to. It all depends on the song - and they're all pretty great. From the fast & catchy to the slow yet melodic. Not a bad thing about him.

Lyrically, his songs tend to be easy to relate to, but he also has some lines that stand out simply because they're so poetic & well-written. Sometimes, it's like listening to your life story being sung to you by someone who's never met you, & who is way better with words than you.

I can't stress how much I love this guy, & how much I think you will, too.

Check out Justin Oliver's MySpace. Every song on there is worth listening to. The actual album, For Rose, can be found on his label, Modern Short Stories.

Another Happy Post

Our resident Mistress is correct that it's been awhile since any of the Wenches have done a happy things post. So here's mine:

• Bigelow Green Tea! I've moved on from my pomegranate white tea obsession to this one. Very calming and full of goodness
• Owning a coffee maker! it's been pretty nice to wake up on these godawful snowmaggedon days and have a big dose of caffeine.
• Friends' baby showers! I'm very happily sans baby, but that doesn't mean I don't get excited when friends have them. Close friends with babies is the best of both worlds: I get to buy some cutesy crap and indulge my ladyclock without actually having to deal with an anklebiter 24/7.
• Best in Show! The husband introduced me to this movie, a hilarious mockumentary about dog shows. I've been quoting it nonstop since.
• My new lappy! This is my new netbook. It fits in my messenger bag, lets me write at work, and has 4X the space of the desktop that got me through high school and half of college. Yay technology!
  

God Bless YouTube.

You may recall my District 9 review from a few weeks ago. Turns out, it's an unexpected source of simultaneous nerdery & hilarity on the internet in the only way a sci-fi movie could be. All out of love, of course, www.fookinprawns.net being my favorite so far.

Not to be outdone, YouTube is getting in on the fun. Who knew that baby prawns were in such need?



I'll help those baby prawns. Sign me up!

Movie Review: Serenity

I didn't jump on the bandwagon with Joss Whedon's Firefly until now, basically because I fell in love with Nathan Fillion's Castle. My nephew finished watching that series so we were finally allowed to watch Serenity last night.

I think Joss Whedon must be good friends with Russell T. Davies because the way I felt when the film ended was much like how I feel at every Doctor Who finale, but it did seem to give the whole story closure, so at least in that respect Josh isn't a sadistic bastard.

The movie blended comedy with sometimes serious and managed to not end up ridiculous. Perhaps it had to do with the cast, all of which were pretty and pretty damn good actors. Heading the cast is Nathan Fillion, one hunk of burning love. Seeing him in this made me giggle because I saw a bit of Richard Castle in Mal Reynolds. Then there was Adam Baldwin who's Jayne Cobb pretty much is Casey from Chuck. Somebody does some method acting, methinks, but I'll forgive him, because I adore Adam Baldwin. Then there's David Krumholtz aka the nerdy guy on Numb3rs to round out the cuteness quotient.

The story was one that would keep any lover of strange sci-fi amused, and even those that aren't that keen. (The eye candy alone makes this a film worth watching)

Mal and his crew of space cowboys (erm...pirates) pick up Simon and his "special" sister River who has psychic ablilities and a little more. After narrowly escaping the Reavers Simon decides he wants to take River and leave the ship "Serenity."

When the ship has landed and Mal is negotiating the pay for their job, River shows up and proceeds to kick some serious ass. If not for her brother showing up and muttering a "safe word," there probably wouldn't have been a soul in the building uninjured.

This outburst allows Alliance to find out where River is and the fun begins in the battle to keep Alliance from taking River.

I really found the movie to be well written and acted. For a movie that has a huge cult "geek" following it really was more entertaining then campy or ridiculous. I really can't fathom why it didn't do better in the box office, except that the show had such a short run that more people didn't know enough to be interested.

If you haven't seen this film yet, and you like quirky Sci-Fi stuff, watch this. Actually if you like that sort of thing, I have to wonder why you haven't seen this movie already.

Annoyed At The Pittsburgh Post Gazette

The cover of the paper's magazine section really pissed me off today. Eric Clapton and Roger Daltrey are making their way to Mellon Arena tonight.

Great show.

Well then why did the PG have to make a nasty jab at the old adage that Clapton Is God? It certainly isn't exactly nice to say to a man that almost always puts on a quality performance and where his personal life might not be the pristine, it hardly merits acover that says Clapton Was God? And yeah, it punctuated it with a question mark.

How rude!

Then Scott Mervis proceeded to discuss Clapton's place in great guitar players history with this joke;

"What do coffee and Eric Clapton have in common?"

"They're only good with Cream."

Really Scott? That's kinda low. Sure his best work was his early work, but isn't that the case with all classic rock greats?

I can see putting Jimmy Page at the top. He rocks always has and always will. I don't believe Hendrix deserves a top spot because he didn't get a chance to prove his versatility in the long run. Of course, dying shouldn't be held against him, but it also shouldn't guarantee him a spot in top 3.

The whole tone of the article left me wondering if Clapton turned down an interview with Scott. I can't imagine another reason to be so negative when a guy is coming to town to play a show.

That said, I can't believe I just defended Eric Clapton.

Why Do All the Best Shows Get Canceled?

No, this isn't about Firefly or Life on Mars. But feel free to rant away about that all you want. This is about The Riches.

FX is one of those networks that usually does pretty well with shows. Nothing truly bad ever comes out of FX. And The Riches was awesome. A family of con artists that ultimately ends up trying to pass themselves off as rich people. Almost like the other side of the story that White Collar tells, except messier & with more family drama & plenty of dark humor. Eddie Izzard really showed what he was capable of acting-wise, Minnie Driver is fantastic, & so is every single actor that appears. Especially the kids.

I think the problem was the infamous writer's strike. Not that they weren't right to strike - there are even pictures of Eddie & Minni picketing with them - it's just that TV kind of came to a standstill. The second season was cut in half & I wouldn't be surprised if there were shows people were interested in that they completely forgot about when the strike interrupted everything.

I'm not really sure what FX was thinking, though. It had serious potential, while their real moneymaker, Nip/Tuck, went downhill. Yeah, I said it. I was hooked on that early on & ironically forgot & stopped caring about it.

As for The Riches, it ended on a ridiculous cliffhanger. A few people involved had said we'll get a movie, & we damn well better. Suck it, FX.

In the meantime, though, we have the DVDs, which inspired this mini-rant. My roommate needed something to watch last week & I suggested this. We've been watching 2-3 episodes nightly ever since.

Things That Make Me Happy

Its been awhile since anyone's done an episode of happiness. I think its because of the lousy weather. It sucks the happy right out of ya!

1. Free books: I've admitted to being a Harlequin romance whore. I love the things, but what I love the contests the authors have on the website. In the last year I've won at least 10 books! Anything that's free makes me happy.

2. Good coffee: I don't know when I became a coffee-aholic, but I am. Not the regular stuff though, I like Lattes and cappuccinos and mochas. I never realized until yesterday that our Get-Go gas stations have crazy awesome white chocolate cappuccinos cheap! You can get a 24 oz cup for about 2 bucks!

BTW my Starbucks recommendation: White Chocolate Mocha with a shot of raspberry!!

3. USA Network: I'm still sad about Monk ending, but Psych, White Collar and Burn Notice are great shows and In Plain Sight is coming back in a month or so.

4. Doctor Who: I'm a sci fi geek, a closet one. I'm not sure how I feel about 11, aka Doogie Who-ser or Intern Who, but I'm willing to give him a shot, because I love Steven Moffat's writing and the episodes have to be awesome.

5. Cheesy romantic comedies. I believe I mentioned this in my review of The Ugly Truth. I love these things, especially Music and Lyrics and Chocolat.

Now it's your turn. What makes you happy right now?

Huntington Prime in Huntington, WV

It's been a few weeks since we've had a restaurant review, so I though I'd fill the foodie gap. This month marked the 1-2 punch of Valentine's Day and my six month anniversary, so my husband took me out on a fancy date. A posh new restaurant Huntington Prime had opened up in Huntington, and this gave us the perfect opportunity to check it out.



The restaurant has a very hip New York vibe. and it's TINY. Not sure exactly how many people it seats, but my estimate would be around 30. [Note: official count says 50.] Needless to say it was pretty packed and gave the place an intimate, elite cool feeling.

In addition to being the rare fancy food haven in the area, it's also the first to really focus on locally-grown foods. The menu changes seasonally according to whatever foods are available from West Virginia farmers. It's got a definite comfort food bent but with some flare and experimentation, unlike other area steakhouses that shall remain nameless (though one immediately comes to mind that used to be a classy place with tiramisu and now feels like a redneck Applebee's)

So yeah, the food. We split an order of mini crab cakes and literally inhaled them... those were seriously one of the top five things I've eaten in my life. Super rich and delicious with homemade red pepper jelly dipping sauce. I had rainbow trout, which was pretty good, but what set the meal over the top were the veggies. The potatoes were boss and melted in your mouth with delicate buttery goodness, plus I got introduced to a new vegetable broccolini.


If you're in the area and have the cash to splurge, check it out. Expect a wait, but be wowed by the food. I'll be back in the spring because (1) they were out of lamb, which I was dying to check out and (2) rumor has it they have Bailey's Irish Cream cheesecake and Grand Marnier tarts. Oh, and be sure to check out the super rad sinks in the bathrooms.

Annoying Commercials

I'm going to highlight some commercials that make me nutty every so often. Today I have two for you.

The first one is the Colgate Wisp commercial. You have two people in a club and the girl has to sneak away from the guy to brush her teeth before she kisses him?

WTF?

They are in a bar. Uh most people in bars are drinking. Why brush your teeth when the guy you're about to suck face with is probably sloshed? Oye Vey!



The next commercial is the McDonald's Filet Of Fish commercial. The jingle is not only annoying its fucking creepy. Plus they've been airing a commercial with the song for more than a year. Here's last year's commercial. Honest, if you haven't seen the new one, be happy. Its even creepier than this one.

Technology Is Awesome

Be prepared for a rant on how technology also sucks in the near future, because you can't win 'em all.

One of the joys of sharing a digital camera is the fact that even when I ask someone not to delete pictures until I can get them uploaded, there's a good chance that they'll get deleted anyway. My dad managed to delete all of the pictures I took on Christmas Day, & maybe more than half of the ones I took a few days later at a concert.

Call it denial or an unwillingness to accept defeat & let my photos fall into cyber-oblivion, but I decided to look into recovering deleted pictures from a memory card. Maybe everyone else knew this was possible - I had a hunch it might be - but the fact that it is made me super excited.

What I found was a program called Zero Assumption Recovery. You can download it for free, so in case of unfortunate accidents with the "delete" button, it might not be bad to get. I was able to scan my memory card & it picked up almost all of the missing pictures, plus ones I'd deleted months before that. After it scans, you can preview whatever it found & decide what to save.

It's not completely perfect. Naturally, the more pictures that were taken after the deleted ones, the less likely it is that you'll be able to recover them. Sometimes the complete image isn't saved, but still, it's better than nothing.

Check Out This Show: Past Life

The new series on Fox, Past Life is one fans of cop dramas will want to check out, especially if you are bored with the same old same old that you find in the Law and Order and CSI franchises.

Past Life is a drama series that investigates the world of the unexplained through the eyes of a doctor and a former detective who must work together to solve decades- old mysteries. It was inspired by a novel called The Reincarnationist by M.J. Rose.

3 episodes have already aired and with all hope, this show will be a hit, much like Bones.

The characters are Dr. Kate McGinn: a psychologist who believes in reincarnation after a past life regression in her twenties, Price Whatly a detective that occasionally thinks she's a kook. Together they solve mysteries.

The reincarnation twist really sets this show apart from the usual crime drama. Its not nearly as much blood, guts and gore that the other shows usually throw at us. Definitely not one of the prettier casts out there, but the show is definitely "must see" TV.

Movie Review: The Ugly Truth

I admit it. I love romantic comedies, but I have to say I like them more when its more comedy than romance. I also judge what I'm going to like by how the movie critics rate it. If they say it sucks, then I automatically go to see it.

Why?

I like fluff.

I can tell you right now I've only seen one or two movies that have been up for Best Picture Oscar nods. I don't like serious stuff. I like to be amused. So when this came out, and when it starred Gerard Butler, who I happen to think is a a hunk of burning love, I decided I would see it. I didn't get to see it in a theater though, because I almost never make it to the movies.

Last night the DVD got popped into my player and Mom, Raymond and I sat down to watch.

Its a raunchy romp between Butler (Mike Chadaway) and Heigel (Abby Richter). Mike's trying to teach Abby what men want so that Abby can snag the hot doctor that lives next door.

Now we all know what's going to happen there right? Its obvious that that hookup may happen but it won't last, but it doesn't matter what comes between is really hilarious, if you are into sexual humor. Its not crude but it gets pretty close. My 76 year old mother laughed her ass off. We were all on the floor during the scene with the vibrating undies. That was almost as good as the "faked orgasm in the deli" from When Harry Met Sally.

This movie certainly isn't one that I would have paid $10.00 to see in its first weeks of release but its a good Maxi Saver movie or DVD film. Its funny, its cute and it passed the time nicely. If you need a good laugh, this one is worth the rental fees or being part of your Netflix cue.

Movie review: The Wolfman

Nothing says Valentine's Day like a good old-fashioned monster flick, eh? While clusters of people packed into the theater yesterday to see She's Just Not That Into You 2: Holiday Boogaloo, I eagerly awaiting to see what kind of werewolf would be wearing someone else's heart on their sleeve.

Would it be campy? Scary? Dark and broodingly gothic? Batshit crazy? In the end, it ended up being all of these. That, I think is one of the movie's biggest weaknesses. Well, that and making Dr. Gonzo play an English gentleman, but we'll get to that later.

The movie takes place in 1890s England, as werewolves can only be Dickens-era gentry or West Coast teenagers. Lawrence (Benicio del Toro) is an actor who ran away to America after a shady and tragic childhood, only to return after his brother is pureed by a mysterious beast. Racked with guilt and egged on by his brother's fiance, Lawrence runs off to the local gypsy camp to hunt said beastie. He gets in a tangle with it, and pretty soon he's feeling a little weird around the full moon. Meanwhile, his Hannibal Lector Dad is getting creepier and creepier.

First up, the good things. I'm a sucker for visuals, and the filmmakers did a good job; the cinematography and set dressings were spot-on, and the visual effects had the right combo of gore and magic. And of course, Anthony Hopkins was good & icky as Lawrence's dad.

Like I said before, though, the movie was pretty marred by what seems like a case of "too many chefs in the kitchen." The story was a mish-mash of 80+ years worth of werewolf stories, and the film itself was an equal mixed bag of styles. One minute it'd be magically realism sprinkled with special effects, the next minute it'd be surrealism chock full 'o gore. Suddenly it's Greek theater style family drama! Oh, wait, now it's cribbing Sherlock Holmes!

Hell, it couldn't even decide which Universal monster flick to reference. Of course there was the obligatory 40's Wolf Man salute, but I also noticed nods to Dracula, the Spanish Universal Dracula, and even King Kong.

Then there's the matter of the Wolf Man himself. When del Toro was in wolf-mode, he does a kick-ass job. Unfortunately, that's maybe 30 minutes of the movie; when he's Lawrence, it's weak sauce. His performance is pretty stilted and can be fairly distracting during scenes that are supposed to be dramatic and emotional.

It's a decent popcorn movie, and I might've enjoyed it more if I hadn't built it up in my head for four months. It's no horror classic, but it's an okay remedy for all the rom-com overload in the theaters right now.

Final verdict: 6/10

Raise Your Hand If You Don't Care About Tiger Woods

Raises hand and waves it about madly.

Why is his press confrence tomorrow such great news?

Let's be serious for a minute. The guy took time off to get his life in order because he apparently doesn't know how to keep it in his pants. Its now obvious he's ready to return to work.

I personally thought he never should have stepped away from golf, except that he'd be asked about his myriad of girlfriends at every press conference, so I guess in that respect he did the right thing.

But tomorrow should just be him saying, "Hey, I'm going to golf again."

His private life, is none of the world's damn business. It matters not if he slept with every woman in the world except me. If he wants to cheat on his wife, that's his business. He's not the first man to screw anything that moves and he won't be the last. He's not a bad looking guy, and he has or had lots of money, so I'm sure there was and likely still isn't a shortage of women that would hop in the sack with him. Its part of the carnal law of greed and celebrity, if you got it, they will want to screw you, one way or another.

So Tiger is going to talk tomorrow. The world is speculating if his wife will be at his side.

Who cares!

The people who follow golf, yes, but the rest of us should really go about our business.